Mandy Vs. Crazy Tentacle Sex Monster

Live-Action DIY Tentacle Rape Porn is hereby a reality!

We built the monster ourselves and shot the footage in few hours. For a first try I think it looks great.

Special thanks to Benny Profane for helping us edit this one.
And Kimberly Kane and Ming for their help with the monster while we were shooting. They were excellent monster wranglers. Thank Zak Sabbath for directing/filming.

Just you all wait---the next one will be even better.

Mandy Morbid and Chapel Waste Had Fun And The Contest Winner Is...

-So who won your contest?

Dagon won for suggesting Tank Girl, which I had never seen before and fell in love with except for the part when they all sing and the kangaroo mutants were really stupid. But otherwise, it was great! Farson (and Benny) came in second for suggesting Primer, which was excellent.

-You've never seen Tank Girl?

Yeah, I'm a sorry excuse for a punk/goth girl.

-It's awful. I mean, the comic books are funny and stuff, but that movie is AWFUL.

Lori Petty is hot and entertaining. None of the other movies offered anything nearly as good to distract you from the poorly done sci-fi special effects and stupid dialogue. Besides, all my friends love it too, I had just never seen it. There must be some quality in it that appeals to young women of my generation that you just don't get.

-Ok, I don't get it. However, this "Dagon"--who, according to the internet, is a major northwest semitic god of agriculture also gets it--despite being born around 2500 years ago. Also, he should e-mail his address to you if he wants his prize. What do you think an ancient Ugaritic god wants with your panties?

The same thing the rest of you want with my panties? He won't get 'em unless he emails his address to me and if he wants a photo instead of panties, he should let me know in that email too.

--The only other thing I've ever heard about him saying is "I will have the kings of the Yaminites cooked on a fisherman's spit, and I will lay them before you."

Where does it say that? What is or what are the Yaminites?

--It says that "in a letter to King Zimri-Lim of Mari, 18th century BC, written by Itur-Asduu, an official in the court of Mari and governor of Nahur." according to Wikipedia. I assume Yaminittes are people from someplace called "Yamin"--extremely unlucky people.

Seems so.

-Some people say he's half-man half-fish...

Do they? How interesting...

-In "Lolita", Humbert says he had a pair of Lolita's underwear that he "stained with merman tears"--what do you think that's all about?

I think that's about Nabokov being poetic.

-Ok, so what's this week's movie all about?

Chapel came over to my house and we had sex.

-You make it sound so boring, but you make it look like lots of fun.

It was lots of fun. I'm just not feeling very articulate today.

-So did Chapel come over and she was all quiet and not saying anything and you too and then you were like Ok, now we have to have sex and then you did and then you were like, Hey this is fun?

Not exactly. But a little like that.

-She was in that movie "Porny Monster"--was she porny and/or a monster?

Oh. She was more porny.

-Of all the co-stars you've had sex with, which one was the most like a monster?

The monster. None of the girls were like monsters at all. Sometimes Zak makes monster noises, but not really when you're fucking him.

-You mean the tentacle monster?

Yeah. We shot it for the first time yesterday. Kimberly Kane, Ming and Zak and I all worked very hard.

-You worked hard to get fucked by a monster?

Yup.

-Did it jizz monster goo all over you?

Yes, it was disgusting. By the end of the shoot I was covered in goo and soaking wet and oily and had been spit on a fair bit too. Being violated by that monster really is a lot of work.

-T.A. wants to see you in that Princess Leia bikini--what do you think of that? What do you think of the idea of being in that bikini being violated by Jabba the Hutt?

Jabba is way more scary than my monster, but only because he's so much bigger I think.

I think the bikini is a great idea. But I don't know where to get one, especially one that fits.

-Do you have problem finding clothes that fit?

Yes. And so would you if you looked like me.

-So what would happen if you were captured by a Hutt? What would you wear?

It'd be the Hutt's problem. I wouldn't have to think about it.

-Ok. Read any good books lately?

No. Well, maybe. I read Martin Amis' new book, the one of essays about September 11th. I don't agree with a lot of what he writes about it, but it was still interesting.

-He seems to have been way more surprised than someone who'd lived through the 20th century should've been.

Exactly. And he overlooks some important factors when writing about the causes of the conflicts between America and the Middle East. He's very sentimental or emotional about the whole thing.

-Who is more girly: Chapel or Martin Amis?

Well Chapel is. But she seems like she'd be far more cynical about the things Martin was writing about in his new book I think.

-Alright. I think that's enough for everybody to have to think about for this week.

I agree.

Mandy Sucks Zak's Cock. There's Coloured Lights

-So you suck cock upside down in this one--what's that like?

It was alright except it felt like I was much closer to Zak's ass than I usually am. Can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

-I see...ummm...so have you finished watching all the movies for your contest?

I think I'm about halfway through them, some I haven't been able to find yet.

-So are you gonna announce the winner next week?

Yup!

-So what was the worst?

That's a really hard call. Like City of Lost Children had some really cool stuff in it, but didn't strike me as being really that sci-fi---it was more of a surreal fantasy movie for kids. Planet of the Apes is just silly and Charlton Heston is ugly---but it has the jungle girl, who I like. Event Horizon could have been really cool, but failed utterly to be interesting. No puzzles, no logic, no science, just lame horror "evil dimension" stuff and it was so trying to copy Aliens' style. The Abyss again had some things I like, but ruined it with totally silly looking aliens and a plot that's not especially believable--like no one noticed the crazy navy seal until it was waaaaay too late, and those characters were supposed to be specialists and whatnot. I guess I have pretty high standards.

-Did you like it in "Planet of the Apes" when they shoot water at Heston and he yells "It's a maaaadhouse" or maybe he says "maaaaan-hose"?

No. Not really. But both lines seem kinda random and unnecessary.

-So you didn't like "City of Lost Children"? Not even that bug-camera thing?

Didn't impress me. Other things in that movie were way better than that bug-camera. I liked it, a lot, just not as sci-fi.

-So I presume there will be no unnecessary random lines or plot-holes or "evil dimensions" in your upcoming Mandy-fucks-tentacle-monster live action movie?

Maybe there will be, actually I bet there will be. But I'm not aiming to create some sci-fi winning-contest masterpiece. I just want to see myself get fucked by tentacles. And have it look as cool as possible on a non-existent budget.

-So how's the monster look so far?

It looks amazing. It looks like a tentacle monster.

-Sweet. Is it AIM-tested?

You bet. And it'll be wearing condoms, so it's a safe sex monster.

-It sounds like a very considerate alien fuck fiend.

Indeed. But, my team created it especially for me, so I don't think it has a whole lot of free will when it comes to that sort of thing. You know, it's pre-programed. To suit all my tentacle fucking needs. It's Tentacle Monster Version 0.1 it may not be perfect.

-T-Rocc recommended "Battlestar Galactica"--what did you think of that?

Kind of a Star Wars rip-off sometimes. Bad costumes, cheesy Luke Skywalker acting. Terrible casino set. And that Starbuck character needs a good kick in the balls, for being such an idiot. Sorry....I feel bad for being so brutal, I'm not in a generous mood, not the best time to be doing movie reviews.

-Ok, well, what do you think of Joan Jett's version of "Crimson and Clover"?

I like it!

-2 part question: 1-Do you like that song "I Hate Myself For Loving You"? and (2)--If you sang a song called "I Hate Myself For Loving You" who or what would it be about?

1-Yes I like it, it's a great song. 2-There's no way I will ever answer a question like that on the internet. Or in any even remotely public setting. And I'm fairly certain I haven't ever hated myself for loving anyone.

-What about Boba Fett?

What about Boba Fett? Huh?

-I mean, how do you feel about loving Boba Fett?

I feel o.k about it.

-But he tried to kill Han Solo!

And Han tried to kill lots of people too, and aliens, they're all killing stuff in those movies, and I love most of them.

-How can you love someone and also the one who tried to kill them? Isn't that a conflict of love-interest or something?

My love for fictional characters doesn't follow any logical-real life restrictions. It's more admiration and awe of utter coolness than "love" I guess.

-What if Boba Fett got an AIM test and wanted to do a boy-girl with you, what would you say?

My rate would be really really high and he'd have to keep his armor on. ('least the first time...)

-I'm too busy imagining that to ask any more questions...

Yeah and of course I'd have to get a real hot space slut outfit for that scene too.

-Yeah, umm--you need to do that, seriously.

Yes I do.

This WILL BE Mandy +Glass Dildo in her Asshole. (AND A CONTEST!)

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Mandy Morbid Has Some Fun With Kimberly Kane's Pretty Butthole.

-So I hear your first feature just came out...

Yes. It did. It's called "Young Hollywood" and it's directed by Carlos Batts.

-So what do you do in it?

I flash Danzig. And get finger banged on one of his cars by a little Asian girl. And I also fuck her with a strap-on.

-So if I, theoretically, thought that sounded like some things I wanted to watch--how would I get this "Young Hollywood"?

My link to the avn store!

-What are you talking about?

Ugh....go to www.mandymorid.com and to the left of the video play window there is a click-thru ad to the AVN store, where you can buy dvds and toys. When you buy dvds or toys or whatever from the ad at www.mandymorbid.com, www.mandymorbid.com makes some money and can continue to provide you with free clips.

-Ok, got that out of the way...what else have you been up to?

I made some porn today. You'll see it next week. Kimberly Kane was the camera-girl. Uh, I went to the art museum a day or two ago. I also went to the release party for Young Hollywood. That's what I've been up to.

-Which museum?

The Los Angeles County Museum of Art. Kimberly came along that day as well.

-How was it?

I don't like most art.I think I do. I always hope it will be better than it is and I am often disappointed. They put all the wrong stuff in those places.

-That's too bad. Have you been getting many requests for different kinds of movies from people?

Yeah, people want to see more boy-girl scenes, more anal, more things like spanking and choking.

-So is that happening?

Yes. But I don't put up stuff until it's edited and I'm happy with it.

-So if people have more complicated requests or ideas, should they say something?

Yes. They should, they should comment here, or email me at mandy@mandymorbid.com or myspace me. I'm not hard to find on there.

-You're so democratic.

Maybe.

-So what do you think of the universe this week?

What kind of questions is that? Who cares what I thought of the universe this week. Or ever?

-I don't know--you have nice boobs, so we want to hear you talk.

I thought it went the other way around, I have nice boobs so you want to look at my boobs.

-What did you say? I was distracted...

Exactly. Fuck off now, I'm done blogging.

-No, wait, I remembered my point. You have nice boobs so we want to hear you talk so that we can then decide you're not very interesting so then we can feel superior to you instead of just feeling miserable about not being able to fondle your boobs. Or at least I heard something like that somewhere on an AdultDVDtalk messageboard or something.

You actually read on one of those message boards that that's the logic applied to porn chicks? Or "whores" as they get called on the xxxporntalk boards.

-Ummm...not so much read it as, "gleaned" it... I guess. Those guys are seriously angry. They're always baiting each other and the girls. They're geniuses at it. They're master-baiters.

Oh I was hoping it was one of 'em showing primitive signs of self awareness. Ugh. I understand there's a similarity between prostitution and being a paid adult performer. But that kind of misogynistic (or catty, if it's a female) name calling says far more about the posters than the girls...Oh well. I like what one of 'em said a lot. "But girls with a look like that aren't out to please everyone, so if she's comfortable in her own skin, then kudos to her." Precisely. I'm out to please myself.

-So who are you fucking next week?

Zak Sabbath. He's fun.

-Is it just his cock again, or are you gonna fuck all of him?

All of him. Well it depends on what I decide to edit. You may just get cock next week and all of him the week after that. Or whatever.

-Ok.

So, we good now? Can I be done now please?

-It's your blog. Do what you want.

Indeed. 'Till next week.

Mandy Morbid and Sasha Grey Again. (And I Spit on Her Nipple)

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More Mandy and Kimberly Kane

-So where have you been?


I've been visiting my family and friends. In a cold cold place.

-Did you throw snowballs at them?

Nope! But I did make snow angels and roll down hills and jump off six foot high snowbanks into other large snowbanks with my little sister. Then I got cold and went inside and made hot cocoa. Then I sniffled for a few days.

-Did you do anything porn-y?

Ummm.....No. I got a new tattoo and a new piercing. But nothing porn-y. It's not a porn-y place. It's probably one of the least porn-y places in the world. Although from what I hear from my Dad and sister the strip-clubs are good. The girls get naked AND they serve alcohol....I am glad to be back in California.

-Do your dad and sister go to strip clubs together?

No, they don't.

-What are you listening to right now?

Tom Petty. "Love is a long long road."

-So you like Tom Petty, I hear he won't back down, is that true?

I like lots of different kinds of things. I've never met Tom Petty and so I haven't been able to ask him how true the song is.

-Ok, if you started a snowball fight with Tom Petty and he backed down would you be disappointed and stop listening to his music?

First of all, I'm not a snowball fighting kind of girl. Unless it leads to sex in the snow, cause I'm all for sex in the snow. But probably not with Tom Petty, he is a little old for me I think....Anyhow---IF I did start a snowball fight with Tom Petty I hope he would back down because that means I win the snowball fight. And I would still listen to his music once in awhile.

-But less often?

No, I only listen to it "once in awhile" presently. Hence the word "still" being in that sentence.

-Do you have any message to communicate to Tom Petty if he is reading and/or masturbating to you right now?


Not really. Have fun. Thanks for making some songs I like.

-What would you say if he or his record company gave you permission to score one of your scenes to "Free Falling"?

I'd be flattered, but I don't think I'm the right girl for that scene.

-Doesn't the girl in that song love horses and she's crazy about Elvis?

Yeah...Not me. She also "Loves Jesus and America too" I'm not so much into Jesus and America at the moment.

-But America loves you! And Jesus is probably jerking off to you and Ming the Merciless right now...

America can love me all it wants, until it does something about all the war, corruption, pollution, and crappy health care and education I'm keeping my distance...sort of. Jesus jerking off to me is a hot idea. Damn Catholic school.

-Have you ever heard the one about the bus driver and the hippie?

YES! I have.

-You mean you've heard the one where There was a hippie and he was taking the bus. And as he got on the bus he saw this hot nun and like hit on her and she just left and got off the bus. And then the next day he got on the bus again and asked the bus driver how he would get the Nun to have sex with him, and the driver replied "Well every sunday night she goes to the church and prays and what you have to do is go and wear day glo paint and a loincloth and come down and be all "I am Jesus, suck my godcock!"

So that night the hippie dressed up as God. And he came to the Nun and then bent her over and the Hippie had a great time. After they were finished he took off the day-glo paint and said "HA, HA I'M THE HIPPY!" then the nun took off her habit and said "HA HA I'M THE BUS DRIVER!"

-Is that the one you heard?

Ugh, yeah, that's the one. Freak.

-Well do you wish you were the nun?

No. Not at all. That nun is stupid. And Hippies are gross.

-But what if they're naked, they're like Jesus, right?

Nope, not all, Jesus is only hot when he's skinny, bloody and tied/nailed to a cross.

-So like an S and M hippie is hot?

I dunno, the giant crucifix in the church I was sent to didn't resemble a hippie.

-Really? I have never seen a Jesus that didn't look like either a hippie or a Mexican hippie...

Where have you seen a Mexican hippie?!

-I don't know--union picket lines? I feel like there are a lot of murals with Jesus looking like a Mexican hippie--am I wrong?

I guess you're right, there weren't a lot of hippies or murals around where I grew up. Just lots of crucifixes and snow. Now that I've made the hippie-Jesus connection, Jesus shouldn't ever be hot anymore. Thanks.

-So what exactly did Jesus look like in the land of the Snow People?

Like a hippie who kept his beard and body hair trimmed better than most hippies I've seen in real life, who's been beat up badly. Which is satisfying. But not hot. Though he did have nice hip bones.

-So--what's this week's pornography about?

It's with Kimberly Kane.

-Well that's always amusing...

Yup yup!

-Well I suppose if we keep you on here too much longer babbling about theological niceties you won't have time to fuck more hot sluts, so we'll let you go...

Right...time to email some sluts.