Monday, January 11, 2010

Post-Vegas Photo Blog

My lovely best friend won AVN's "Best Actress" award this year! Congrats Kimberly Kane! So well deserved! (It's actually an award for acting too, though she has won AVN awards for her sexual performances as well, of course.) Check her out as Scully in "The Sex Files" to see her stellar performance.

Can you see the hate I harbor for Las Vegas in my eyes? Please, stupid fickle girl brain, never agree to go that bad place again, please. Don't trick yourself into thinking "it won't be so bad". Because it will be. Remember....

Look--I'm Jem!

That is me in my respirator. I wear it wherever I travel where smoking inside is not yet illegal. Those purple disks are hepa filters. Yes my asthma and allergies are that bad. I also travel with a nebulizer. Apparently it is "illegal" to wear a respirator in the Venetian. It should be illegal to poison people with all that cigarette smoke and perfumed oxygen they pump into the casinos. So I pretty much stayed in our non-smoking hotel room the whole weekend (can't breath out there!) after my one brief attempt to attend a failed party. FYI: the people who run LAVO are mega-assholes. And my boots broke too. So fuck you Las Vegas.

I shut down my website for awhile but here is a photo set my friend Steve Prue shot of me last time I was in New York. Loves these pics, thanks Steve!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

-So what did you do over the holidays?

I went to Canada to hang out with my family. Which is really wonderful and I love it except I'm super allergic to my sister's cat (who I used to actually live with--which is incomprehensible with my allergies as bad as they are now) which sucks. I had to use my nebulizer every night. Also the traveling is really horrible. We were two days delayed getting home because of a sudden cold snap (-22 Celsius--our plane wouldn't work) and United Airlines' incompetence. Satine Phoenix is an angel and she picked us up from the airport when we finally landed in L.A and she took us home. My family is pretty cool though. We played D&D and Zak and my brother play chess and my parents make excellent food. And my mum decorates. She REALLY decorates. Everything in her house glitters and sparkles, she puts up two Christmas trees, there are lights and garlands and Christmasy bits on everything. Literally. I love it. And it sounds tacky but it's not. Just traditional and well done. At this point she has more decorations than she can actually fit on both trees and everywhere else. We all went to the art gallery too, which everyone for once, seemed to enjoy. Oh and Zak and I got some good presents! (And gave some good presents as well.)

On New Year's Eve I hung out with Kimberly Kane and Danny Wylde (aka Daniel) and Zak Sabbath and Kimberly and I watched Disney movies and sang along to all the songs in Aladdin and we all lit sparklers outside like 8 year olds and Zak made a sparkler flail-mace which took him like 20 minutes to assemble but only lasted about 5 seconds.

-Zak Sabbath sang the music from Aladdin?

No, only Kimberly and I did. I think Zak's too old and too cool to have watched that one enough times to know all the words.

-What's your New Year's Resolution?

I don't really have one. I suppose it's to "not need surgery again this year". My other ideas for resolutions were deemed unrealistic: "To not be crazy." That one made KK laugh out loud. And "To not age at all from now on." "Go to school." Was considered "Lame."

-What kind of cheese do you like best?

Oh that's such a hard question! I like so many kinds.

-What presents did you get?

Oh boy...I got really nice DKNY perfume from my little brother (my little sister helped him with that.) I got really cute cupcake shorts and a pink camisole from my parents. I got a Wizard of Oz Wicked Witch of the East Barbie from my sister. I got a big pink Tie Fighter that's now hanging from my ceiling with my pink Bird of Prey from last year--from Zak. I also got a cardboard stand up of the white haired necromancer from the original Guild Wars ads from way back when--from Zak--who remembered me talking about the same one I loved when I was in high school that was in our local game shop's entrance. I got a 45 piece silverware set from my parents. I got some shorts my parents picked up for me when they were in Virginia Beach last summer. They got Zak a shark in a bottle when they were there too. I got some Urban Decay eye makeup from my sister. I got a fancy makeup brush. I got a set of mirrored silvery tea-light candle holders from my grandparents. I got a Hello Kitty thing for my keys--from my sister. I got a cute pink and black notepad with skulls and a pink protective case for my macbook from my parents as well. I got some gift cards for book stores in Canada, I got an industrial grade hepa filter/toxic vapor/gas mask from my dad. Well actually I just sort of took it from his work when I was there--but he always gets me stuff like that. (Temper's dog Horace ate my last one, the last time I was in Berlin, where I need a gas mask to go around the bars with my friends there. Berlin also killed my other nebulizer despite the fact that we had a power adapter for it.) I also got some fancy tea and chocolates and stuff like that.

-So what's with all the talking in this movie?

Oh, Chris Nieratko was doing a thing about Kimberly for Vice and he wanted footage of her directing and performing and stuff like that. So we spent all day with him and his camera guy Matt. They filmed us filming and eating and watching Mandy Candy and just hanging out--but we weren't being very serious or professional about anything. We were just having fun. And so I left in some of the dialogue because it amuses me and it isn't just the same old, very quiet, slow stuff. It's super amateur and I like that.

-Ok. Can you tell us some more about these cupcake panties?

Okay. They are shorts to sleep in and they are thin and white and have lace and a pink ribbon to tie and little pink and yellow cupcakes all over and the word "sweet" printed all over in a small pink font. I also got a tight low cut pink lace camisole to match. They know what I like. It's nice.

-What's a camisole?

It's a kind of lingerie. Like a tank top but very thin and originally meant to wear under other clothes. Like a slip. Only on top.

-What do you think 2010 will be like?

Ummm. I'm not really comfortable speculating about that sort of thing. I suspect I will be healthier and therefore busier but that's as much as I'm willing to guess and hope for.

-I meant in the larger sense. Bathes us in your geopolitical or socioprognostacative wisdom.

Oh fuck. More of the same mess. And probably some new ones. I miss Canada. I miss Germany.

-But everything is perfect now, right? Obama is president!

I wonder if he really thought he would be able to change things? That seems naive though doesn't it? Him being president only prevented some things from getting immediately worse, it may have started certain things beginning to change but it doesn't seem like it's for the better at the moment. Depending on what this health care nonsense develops into, I'm prepared to pick up and bail. Back to a much saner if boring and very cold land of taxes and responsible health care for everyone, and much less expensive post secondary education. And a larger and statistically wealthier and more content middle class.

-I hear he changed the decor in the Oval Office. Except the rug.

Really. Impressive.

-See, he can change things! Now who's naive?

Oh I'm such a confused and mistaken lying Canadian.

-It's because you're communists.

Yes. Well. Socialists actually might be more accurate.

-Well that's why you're dumb. And have mooses.

And still have natural resources and less poverty?

-I'll admit you do have some pretty nice natural resources.