Sunday, March 29, 2009

Metal And Hot Girls VS The Presidents

-So, what have you been up to lately, Mandy?

Ummm...I've made some porn, I shot my first gun--went with Zak Sabbath, Kimberly Kane and a good friend from was very frightening at first, and just slightly less frightning after doing it a few times, and I went to see some art today with Satine Phoenix, Zak and Darenzia. And last night Zak and I went to see Wolves in the Throne Room--who were AMAZING--and then spent the rest of the evening with KK and company at Tiny's in Hollywood. Also I've been watching PBS' American Experience documentaries about all the presidents, starting with Bush 1 and going backwards. Gotten to Lyndon Johnson so far. That's what I've been up to.

-Who do you like better: Jimmy Carter or Wolves In the Throne Room?

Wolves in the Throne Room.

-Darenzia or the Strategic Defense Initiative?

Ha ha. Darenzia of course!

-Kimberly Kane shooting a gun at a paper target or John Hinckley shooting a gun at Ronald Reagan?

I think I prefer metal and hot girls to almost anything having to do with former presidents at the moment.

-Well that ends that line of, ok, let's check the mailbag...Um, Fergus from Low Plains, South Dakota asks: "If you were an ancient hag nesting at the bottom of the sea and someone tried to steal your rime-encrusted gold doubloons, what curse would you lay upon them?"

Oh now that's a tough one. So many curses to choose from...I'm not sure this is a prudent line of thought for me to get into...

-Miles from Dayton wants to know: "Do you really like cum on you, or do you just pretend to like cum in your movies? And, if you say you do, how do we know you're not lying?"

Gah, there is nothing a porn girl can say that would make any of you people who ask these kinds of questions believe or not believe they actually enjoy something in real life. You either choose to believe us or you don't...or maybe, I can say this: "If I didn't really enjoy it, why would I be making videos for free with me getting cum all over me and putting it up online for free, if I didn't actually get something out of it?" Is that effective at all?

-Chuckles from Whitereach, North Carolina asks: "Who was your favorite general in the Civil War, and would you cosider doing a scene with him?"

Oh, both Lee and Grant were equally interesting. But I don't think I'd do a scene with either one judging from their photos, nor can I decide which of the two I would prefer when it comes to physical attractiveness.

-So no love for the minor generals?

They were all fucking nuts. Especially that one guy....Forrest? Is that his name? Not as attractive as Lee or Grant either those minor generals.

-What about General Burnside? Here's a picture...

Ummm, well he's got awesome sideburns. But he's got nothing on Benny Profane. And I bet he doesn't have Benny's nifty genital piercing either.

-Ok, let's do some music reviews, here's Isis "Holy Tears"..what say you?

I like it, I've yet to hear any Isis I don't like. But I like that one album best...can't remember what it's called. Or maybe there's two of 'em I like best, but I am horrible at remembering the titles of songs and albums I like. Panopticon? Is that what it's called?

-Yeah, I'd say...ok, what about's Burning Witch "Still Born"

I like this one too.

-What about this one: Leftover Crack "Ya Can't Go Home"?

It's good. Ok enough with the music quiz. It's time for the Tomorrow Show at the Steve Allen Theatre.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009


-So, Mandy, WTF is up with your site? Are you quitting? Should I forget about jerking off to you every week all together?

Please don't forget about jerking off to me--the site was not uploading new vids because I was very sick for a long time but I am better now and making new videos to put up each week again. Yes new content each week again! The site was also down for a bit because I couldn't upoad the new video, hence the new layout and the archives being gone at the moment. It may not be the prettiest website but the video loads and that's all that matters.

-I only ever noticed the video anyway...Oh, shit, you're right, there's fucking graphic design around your long has that been there?

Like 3 years! You don't pay attention to me at all. Sigh.

-It's true, giant pair of boobs, I don't pay nearly enough attention to you--HOLY FUCK--did you know you have a head floating over you? And it has a fucking mohawk? Freaky.

That is freaky. I like the word "freaky" for some reason.

-Freaky is my middle name. And my first name. Oh--and it's my last name, so if you marry me it'll be your last name too so you should marry me.

I'm not so sure I'm the marrying type. Besides I have a wife she lives in Berlin and she's fucking hot. We dressed up and got drunk and went to DisneyLand. Got "married" on It's A Small World. People clapped and I got to sign autographs for little girls. If you want to see I could post some pics in the next blog, but I won't do it if you don't care. So you all have to write me and let me know if you want to see 'em.

-How did you convince a European to go to Disneyworld? Isn't it against their religion or something?

She didn't know she was going. We had her blindfolded.

-So, wait, you took this girl, blindfolded her, threw her in a car, got her all the way into Disneyland and onto "It's A Small World" and then took the blinfold off and married her with all those insane animatronic children climbing alps and shit all around her and singing the same thing over and over? Weren't you worried her head would explode?

That's pretty much it except replace car with limo and then you've got it. I think her head did explode a little but she had enough whisky in her to keep it from getting messy. We looked fabulous and it was one of the most amazing nights of my life. You all should have been there. Only I'm real mean to boys when I'm drunk.

-What else have you been up to?

Well, I've got Pixie Pearl staying with me, and I've been making friends with Coco Velvette--better friends I mean. I'm learning Hungarian and html and ftp (the Hungarian is the most difficult so far.) I went to a Burning Angel party last week and got to know Joanna Angel a bit. Ummm....I'm waiting for Kimberly Kane to get better (she has a cold) so we can shoot and go to the that enough?

-I saw pictures from Sasha Grey's birthday party--you weren't there. Does she hate you?

No, I don't think so. We just couldn't make it because I was a bit sick and all the cigarette smoke in Vegas makes me very very sick and I wanted to be able to make some more porn this week. I'm shooting with Coco tomorrow, then I've got a photoshoot on Thursday, then I'm shooting a scene with Pixie on Friday. I didn't want to have to cancel all that, so I missed a good party.

-How was that Burning Angel party? Was there crazy orgies?

No orgies.

-Did Pixie Pearl accidentally put her purse in a pool of vomit which then forced her to rig together a makeshift handbag out of plastic grocery bags?

Yes, and it was a really impressive handbag too! Pixie also decided to disappear and make everyone worry and stand in the cold for an hour looking for her, and calling a certain rock star's phone number so we could find out if she had gone to the rock star's house without telling anyone.

-Did she do him?

That is a mystery. She said she didn't but she also said she drank a bunch of absinthe and can't remember everything. I know she did show him her awesome boobs. He said he liked them.

-What were you doing while he was looking at her boobs?

Repeating that scene from Hospital with Coco and Zak, only better.

-Did Zak wear those retarded--excuse me, developmentally disabled--sunglasses?

No, I said it was better, there was no sunglasses. There was a lot more giggling and squeaking.

-Did the rock star at least drive her home?

Who expects a rock star to drive them anywhere?! No he didn't, as was totally expected. He has someone to do that for him.

-So this rock star's amanuensis drove Pixie back to your house? What kind of car did he drive?

I don't know what kind of car the assistant had--he took her to a hotel for the night. We, Coco, Zak and I, went to pick her up the next day after we had lunch/breakfast.

-What hotel? Why? Was this rock star's famous model/actress/girlfriend notdown with a Pixie Pearl threesome?

It was a Best Western. And I don't know why. As far as I know there isn't currently a famous model/actress/girlfriend for this particular rock star. Maybe he had work to do in the morning and didn't want a Pixie Pearl in his way.

-Have you ever fucked Pixie Pearl?

Of course! I've fucked Pixie a whole bunch of times.

-Does she remember it?


-So it's safe to say not only do you have more fun than rock stars, but you're more fun to fuck, too?

Hmm...apparently. But I have great tits and the rock star doesn't.