Saturday, March 29, 2008

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Mandy Morbid Has Some Fun With Kimberly Kane's Pretty Butthole.

-So I hear your first feature just came out...

Yes. It did. It's called "Young Hollywood" and it's directed by Carlos Batts.

-So what do you do in it?

I flash Danzig. And get finger banged on one of his cars by a little Asian girl. And I also fuck her with a strap-on.

-So if I, theoretically, thought that sounded like some things I wanted to watch--how would I get this "Young Hollywood"?

My link to the avn store!

-What are you talking about?

Ugh....go to and to the left of the video play window there is a click-thru ad to the AVN store, where you can buy dvds and toys. When you buy dvds or toys or whatever from the ad at, makes some money and can continue to provide you with free clips.

-Ok, got that out of the way...what else have you been up to?

I made some porn today. You'll see it next week. Kimberly Kane was the camera-girl. Uh, I went to the art museum a day or two ago. I also went to the release party for Young Hollywood. That's what I've been up to.

-Which museum?

The Los Angeles County Museum of Art. Kimberly came along that day as well.

-How was it?

I don't like most art.I think I do. I always hope it will be better than it is and I am often disappointed. They put all the wrong stuff in those places.

-That's too bad. Have you been getting many requests for different kinds of movies from people?

Yeah, people want to see more boy-girl scenes, more anal, more things like spanking and choking.

-So is that happening?

Yes. But I don't put up stuff until it's edited and I'm happy with it.

-So if people have more complicated requests or ideas, should they say something?

Yes. They should, they should comment here, or email me at or myspace me. I'm not hard to find on there.

-You're so democratic.


-So what do you think of the universe this week?

What kind of questions is that? Who cares what I thought of the universe this week. Or ever?

-I don't know--you have nice boobs, so we want to hear you talk.

I thought it went the other way around, I have nice boobs so you want to look at my boobs.

-What did you say? I was distracted...

Exactly. Fuck off now, I'm done blogging.

-No, wait, I remembered my point. You have nice boobs so we want to hear you talk so that we can then decide you're not very interesting so then we can feel superior to you instead of just feeling miserable about not being able to fondle your boobs. Or at least I heard something like that somewhere on an AdultDVDtalk messageboard or something.

You actually read on one of those message boards that that's the logic applied to porn chicks? Or "whores" as they get called on the xxxporntalk boards.

-Ummm...not so much read it as, "gleaned" it... I guess. Those guys are seriously angry. They're always baiting each other and the girls. They're geniuses at it. They're master-baiters.

Oh I was hoping it was one of 'em showing primitive signs of self awareness. Ugh. I understand there's a similarity between prostitution and being a paid adult performer. But that kind of misogynistic (or catty, if it's a female) name calling says far more about the posters than the girls...Oh well. I like what one of 'em said a lot. "But girls with a look like that aren't out to please everyone, so if she's comfortable in her own skin, then kudos to her." Precisely. I'm out to please myself.

-So who are you fucking next week?

Zak Sabbath. He's fun.

-Is it just his cock again, or are you gonna fuck all of him?

All of him. Well it depends on what I decide to edit. You may just get cock next week and all of him the week after that. Or whatever.


So, we good now? Can I be done now please?

-It's your blog. Do what you want.

Indeed. 'Till next week.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Monday, March 3, 2008

More Mandy and Kimberly Kane

-So where have you been?

I've been visiting my family and friends. In a cold cold place.

-Did you throw snowballs at them?

Nope! But I did make snow angels and roll down hills and jump off six foot high snowbanks into other large snowbanks with my little sister. Then I got cold and went inside and made hot cocoa. Then I sniffled for a few days.

-Did you do anything porn-y?

Ummm.....No. I got a new tattoo and a new piercing. But nothing porn-y. It's not a porn-y place. It's probably one of the least porn-y places in the world. Although from what I hear from my Dad and sister the strip-clubs are good. The girls get naked AND they serve alcohol....I am glad to be back in California.

-Do your dad and sister go to strip clubs together?

No, they don't.

-What are you listening to right now?

Tom Petty. "Love is a long long road."

-So you like Tom Petty, I hear he won't back down, is that true?

I like lots of different kinds of things. I've never met Tom Petty and so I haven't been able to ask him how true the song is.

-Ok, if you started a snowball fight with Tom Petty and he backed down would you be disappointed and stop listening to his music?

First of all, I'm not a snowball fighting kind of girl. Unless it leads to sex in the snow, cause I'm all for sex in the snow. But probably not with Tom Petty, he is a little old for me I think....Anyhow---IF I did start a snowball fight with Tom Petty I hope he would back down because that means I win the snowball fight. And I would still listen to his music once in awhile.

-But less often?

No, I only listen to it "once in awhile" presently. Hence the word "still" being in that sentence.

-Do you have any message to communicate to Tom Petty if he is reading and/or masturbating to you right now?

Not really. Have fun. Thanks for making some songs I like.

-What would you say if he or his record company gave you permission to score one of your scenes to "Free Falling"?

I'd be flattered, but I don't think I'm the right girl for that scene.

-Doesn't the girl in that song love horses and she's crazy about Elvis?

Yeah...Not me. She also "Loves Jesus and America too" I'm not so much into Jesus and America at the moment.

-But America loves you! And Jesus is probably jerking off to you and Ming the Merciless right now...

America can love me all it wants, until it does something about all the war, corruption, pollution, and crappy health care and education I'm keeping my distance...sort of. Jesus jerking off to me is a hot idea. Damn Catholic school.

-Have you ever heard the one about the bus driver and the hippie?

YES! I have.

-You mean you've heard the one where There was a hippie and he was taking the bus. And as he got on the bus he saw this hot nun and like hit on her and she just left and got off the bus. And then the next day he got on the bus again and asked the bus driver how he would get the Nun to have sex with him, and the driver replied "Well every sunday night she goes to the church and prays and what you have to do is go and wear day glo paint and a loincloth and come down and be all "I am Jesus, suck my godcock!"

So that night the hippie dressed up as God. And he came to the Nun and then bent her over and the Hippie had a great time. After they were finished he took off the day-glo paint and said "HA, HA I'M THE HIPPY!" then the nun took off her habit and said "HA HA I'M THE BUS DRIVER!"

-Is that the one you heard?

Ugh, yeah, that's the one. Freak.

-Well do you wish you were the nun?

No. Not at all. That nun is stupid. And Hippies are gross.

-But what if they're naked, they're like Jesus, right?

Nope, not all, Jesus is only hot when he's skinny, bloody and tied/nailed to a cross.

-So like an S and M hippie is hot?

I dunno, the giant crucifix in the church I was sent to didn't resemble a hippie.

-Really? I have never seen a Jesus that didn't look like either a hippie or a Mexican hippie...

Where have you seen a Mexican hippie?!

-I don't know--union picket lines? I feel like there are a lot of murals with Jesus looking like a Mexican hippie--am I wrong?

I guess you're right, there weren't a lot of hippies or murals around where I grew up. Just lots of crucifixes and snow. Now that I've made the hippie-Jesus connection, Jesus shouldn't ever be hot anymore. Thanks.

-So what exactly did Jesus look like in the land of the Snow People?

Like a hippie who kept his beard and body hair trimmed better than most hippies I've seen in real life, who's been beat up badly. Which is satisfying. But not hot. Though he did have nice hip bones.

-So--what's this week's pornography about?

It's with Kimberly Kane.

-Well that's always amusing...

Yup yup!

-Well I suppose if we keep you on here too much longer babbling about theological niceties you won't have time to fuck more hot sluts, so we'll let you go...

Right...time to email some sluts.