Mandy Sucks Zak's Cock. There's Coloured Lights

-So you suck cock upside down in this one--what's that like?

It was alright except it felt like I was much closer to Zak's ass than I usually am. Can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

-I see...ummm...so have you finished watching all the movies for your contest?

I think I'm about halfway through them, some I haven't been able to find yet.

-So are you gonna announce the winner next week?

Yup!

-So what was the worst?

That's a really hard call. Like City of Lost Children had some really cool stuff in it, but didn't strike me as being really that sci-fi---it was more of a surreal fantasy movie for kids. Planet of the Apes is just silly and Charlton Heston is ugly---but it has the jungle girl, who I like. Event Horizon could have been really cool, but failed utterly to be interesting. No puzzles, no logic, no science, just lame horror "evil dimension" stuff and it was so trying to copy Aliens' style. The Abyss again had some things I like, but ruined it with totally silly looking aliens and a plot that's not especially believable--like no one noticed the crazy navy seal until it was waaaaay too late, and those characters were supposed to be specialists and whatnot. I guess I have pretty high standards.

-Did you like it in "Planet of the Apes" when they shoot water at Heston and he yells "It's a maaaadhouse" or maybe he says "maaaaan-hose"?

No. Not really. But both lines seem kinda random and unnecessary.

-So you didn't like "City of Lost Children"? Not even that bug-camera thing?

Didn't impress me. Other things in that movie were way better than that bug-camera. I liked it, a lot, just not as sci-fi.

-So I presume there will be no unnecessary random lines or plot-holes or "evil dimensions" in your upcoming Mandy-fucks-tentacle-monster live action movie?

Maybe there will be, actually I bet there will be. But I'm not aiming to create some sci-fi winning-contest masterpiece. I just want to see myself get fucked by tentacles. And have it look as cool as possible on a non-existent budget.

-So how's the monster look so far?

It looks amazing. It looks like a tentacle monster.

-Sweet. Is it AIM-tested?

You bet. And it'll be wearing condoms, so it's a safe sex monster.

-It sounds like a very considerate alien fuck fiend.

Indeed. But, my team created it especially for me, so I don't think it has a whole lot of free will when it comes to that sort of thing. You know, it's pre-programed. To suit all my tentacle fucking needs. It's Tentacle Monster Version 0.1 it may not be perfect.

-T-Rocc recommended "Battlestar Galactica"--what did you think of that?

Kind of a Star Wars rip-off sometimes. Bad costumes, cheesy Luke Skywalker acting. Terrible casino set. And that Starbuck character needs a good kick in the balls, for being such an idiot. Sorry....I feel bad for being so brutal, I'm not in a generous mood, not the best time to be doing movie reviews.

-Ok, well, what do you think of Joan Jett's version of "Crimson and Clover"?

I like it!

-2 part question: 1-Do you like that song "I Hate Myself For Loving You"? and (2)--If you sang a song called "I Hate Myself For Loving You" who or what would it be about?

1-Yes I like it, it's a great song. 2-There's no way I will ever answer a question like that on the internet. Or in any even remotely public setting. And I'm fairly certain I haven't ever hated myself for loving anyone.

-What about Boba Fett?

What about Boba Fett? Huh?

-I mean, how do you feel about loving Boba Fett?

I feel o.k about it.

-But he tried to kill Han Solo!

And Han tried to kill lots of people too, and aliens, they're all killing stuff in those movies, and I love most of them.

-How can you love someone and also the one who tried to kill them? Isn't that a conflict of love-interest or something?

My love for fictional characters doesn't follow any logical-real life restrictions. It's more admiration and awe of utter coolness than "love" I guess.

-What if Boba Fett got an AIM test and wanted to do a boy-girl with you, what would you say?

My rate would be really really high and he'd have to keep his armor on. ('least the first time...)

-I'm too busy imagining that to ask any more questions...

Yeah and of course I'd have to get a real hot space slut outfit for that scene too.

-Yeah, umm--you need to do that, seriously.

Yes I do.

This WILL BE Mandy +Glass Dildo in her Asshole. (AND A CONTEST!)

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Mandy Morbid Has Some Fun With Kimberly Kane's Pretty Butthole.

-So I hear your first feature just came out...

Yes. It did. It's called "Young Hollywood" and it's directed by Carlos Batts.

-So what do you do in it?

I flash Danzig. And get finger banged on one of his cars by a little Asian girl. And I also fuck her with a strap-on.

-So if I, theoretically, thought that sounded like some things I wanted to watch--how would I get this "Young Hollywood"?

My link to the avn store!

-What are you talking about?

Ugh....go to www.mandymorid.com and to the left of the video play window there is a click-thru ad to the AVN store, where you can buy dvds and toys. When you buy dvds or toys or whatever from the ad at www.mandymorbid.com, www.mandymorbid.com makes some money and can continue to provide you with free clips.

-Ok, got that out of the way...what else have you been up to?

I made some porn today. You'll see it next week. Kimberly Kane was the camera-girl. Uh, I went to the art museum a day or two ago. I also went to the release party for Young Hollywood. That's what I've been up to.

-Which museum?

The Los Angeles County Museum of Art. Kimberly came along that day as well.

-How was it?

I don't like most art.I think I do. I always hope it will be better than it is and I am often disappointed. They put all the wrong stuff in those places.

-That's too bad. Have you been getting many requests for different kinds of movies from people?

Yeah, people want to see more boy-girl scenes, more anal, more things like spanking and choking.

-So is that happening?

Yes. But I don't put up stuff until it's edited and I'm happy with it.

-So if people have more complicated requests or ideas, should they say something?

Yes. They should, they should comment here, or email me at mandy@mandymorbid.com or myspace me. I'm not hard to find on there.

-You're so democratic.

Maybe.

-So what do you think of the universe this week?

What kind of questions is that? Who cares what I thought of the universe this week. Or ever?

-I don't know--you have nice boobs, so we want to hear you talk.

I thought it went the other way around, I have nice boobs so you want to look at my boobs.

-What did you say? I was distracted...

Exactly. Fuck off now, I'm done blogging.

-No, wait, I remembered my point. You have nice boobs so we want to hear you talk so that we can then decide you're not very interesting so then we can feel superior to you instead of just feeling miserable about not being able to fondle your boobs. Or at least I heard something like that somewhere on an AdultDVDtalk messageboard or something.

You actually read on one of those message boards that that's the logic applied to porn chicks? Or "whores" as they get called on the xxxporntalk boards.

-Ummm...not so much read it as, "gleaned" it... I guess. Those guys are seriously angry. They're always baiting each other and the girls. They're geniuses at it. They're master-baiters.

Oh I was hoping it was one of 'em showing primitive signs of self awareness. Ugh. I understand there's a similarity between prostitution and being a paid adult performer. But that kind of misogynistic (or catty, if it's a female) name calling says far more about the posters than the girls...Oh well. I like what one of 'em said a lot. "But girls with a look like that aren't out to please everyone, so if she's comfortable in her own skin, then kudos to her." Precisely. I'm out to please myself.

-So who are you fucking next week?

Zak Sabbath. He's fun.

-Is it just his cock again, or are you gonna fuck all of him?

All of him. Well it depends on what I decide to edit. You may just get cock next week and all of him the week after that. Or whatever.

-Ok.

So, we good now? Can I be done now please?

-It's your blog. Do what you want.

Indeed. 'Till next week.

Mandy Morbid and Sasha Grey Again. (And I Spit on Her Nipple)

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More Mandy and Kimberly Kane

-So where have you been?


I've been visiting my family and friends. In a cold cold place.

-Did you throw snowballs at them?

Nope! But I did make snow angels and roll down hills and jump off six foot high snowbanks into other large snowbanks with my little sister. Then I got cold and went inside and made hot cocoa. Then I sniffled for a few days.

-Did you do anything porn-y?

Ummm.....No. I got a new tattoo and a new piercing. But nothing porn-y. It's not a porn-y place. It's probably one of the least porn-y places in the world. Although from what I hear from my Dad and sister the strip-clubs are good. The girls get naked AND they serve alcohol....I am glad to be back in California.

-Do your dad and sister go to strip clubs together?

No, they don't.

-What are you listening to right now?

Tom Petty. "Love is a long long road."

-So you like Tom Petty, I hear he won't back down, is that true?

I like lots of different kinds of things. I've never met Tom Petty and so I haven't been able to ask him how true the song is.

-Ok, if you started a snowball fight with Tom Petty and he backed down would you be disappointed and stop listening to his music?

First of all, I'm not a snowball fighting kind of girl. Unless it leads to sex in the snow, cause I'm all for sex in the snow. But probably not with Tom Petty, he is a little old for me I think....Anyhow---IF I did start a snowball fight with Tom Petty I hope he would back down because that means I win the snowball fight. And I would still listen to his music once in awhile.

-But less often?

No, I only listen to it "once in awhile" presently. Hence the word "still" being in that sentence.

-Do you have any message to communicate to Tom Petty if he is reading and/or masturbating to you right now?


Not really. Have fun. Thanks for making some songs I like.

-What would you say if he or his record company gave you permission to score one of your scenes to "Free Falling"?

I'd be flattered, but I don't think I'm the right girl for that scene.

-Doesn't the girl in that song love horses and she's crazy about Elvis?

Yeah...Not me. She also "Loves Jesus and America too" I'm not so much into Jesus and America at the moment.

-But America loves you! And Jesus is probably jerking off to you and Ming the Merciless right now...

America can love me all it wants, until it does something about all the war, corruption, pollution, and crappy health care and education I'm keeping my distance...sort of. Jesus jerking off to me is a hot idea. Damn Catholic school.

-Have you ever heard the one about the bus driver and the hippie?

YES! I have.

-You mean you've heard the one where There was a hippie and he was taking the bus. And as he got on the bus he saw this hot nun and like hit on her and she just left and got off the bus. And then the next day he got on the bus again and asked the bus driver how he would get the Nun to have sex with him, and the driver replied "Well every sunday night she goes to the church and prays and what you have to do is go and wear day glo paint and a loincloth and come down and be all "I am Jesus, suck my godcock!"

So that night the hippie dressed up as God. And he came to the Nun and then bent her over and the Hippie had a great time. After they were finished he took off the day-glo paint and said "HA, HA I'M THE HIPPY!" then the nun took off her habit and said "HA HA I'M THE BUS DRIVER!"

-Is that the one you heard?

Ugh, yeah, that's the one. Freak.

-Well do you wish you were the nun?

No. Not at all. That nun is stupid. And Hippies are gross.

-But what if they're naked, they're like Jesus, right?

Nope, not all, Jesus is only hot when he's skinny, bloody and tied/nailed to a cross.

-So like an S and M hippie is hot?

I dunno, the giant crucifix in the church I was sent to didn't resemble a hippie.

-Really? I have never seen a Jesus that didn't look like either a hippie or a Mexican hippie...

Where have you seen a Mexican hippie?!

-I don't know--union picket lines? I feel like there are a lot of murals with Jesus looking like a Mexican hippie--am I wrong?

I guess you're right, there weren't a lot of hippies or murals around where I grew up. Just lots of crucifixes and snow. Now that I've made the hippie-Jesus connection, Jesus shouldn't ever be hot anymore. Thanks.

-So what exactly did Jesus look like in the land of the Snow People?

Like a hippie who kept his beard and body hair trimmed better than most hippies I've seen in real life, who's been beat up badly. Which is satisfying. But not hot. Though he did have nice hip bones.

-So--what's this week's pornography about?

It's with Kimberly Kane.

-Well that's always amusing...

Yup yup!

-Well I suppose if we keep you on here too much longer babbling about theological niceties you won't have time to fuck more hot sluts, so we'll let you go...

Right...time to email some sluts.

Mandy Fucks Kimberly Kane with a Big Dildo

-Was this one fun?

Yup....it's more of when Kimberly Kane and I shot for like two hours.

-Whose dildo?

Hers. I got to try it too. It's huge.

-Are we gonna see footage of that?

Yes. Probably in March or April.

-Patience gets rewarded I guess. What'd you do yesterday?

Um yesterday I acted (badly) in this porn guy Daniel's film school project. "Death and Sports-bras" which was lots of fun. I got to turn into a zombie-type-creature and get gorey special effects make-up put on me. It was a really really long day--but still I was glad to get to do it.

-Did you walk around saying "braaaaaains"?

No, I didn't have to say anything. But did get to tear the skin off my arm and get impaled with a giant spike attached to a man's underwear.

-So they let you make porn in film school?

It wasn't porn. I did shoot a nude scene but it wasn't anything really sexual.

-Girl, I hate to tell you this if you didn't already know--but if there's footage of Mandy Morbid and she's not wearing any clothes, it's sexual.

Ok, what I meant was there were no sexual acts performed in this film. Is that better?

-Much. So was it more fun being impaled with a giant spike or with that dildo?

Oh, that's a hard call, 'cause I really liked the wound I had from the spike. But the dildo felt better than the spike. Even though I was sore the next day from the dildo. But I'm sore from being a zombie today sooo....*shrugs*

-Are you gonna be doing more horror movies?

I have no idea. I don't think so unless it's my friends who are casting 'em because I really cannot act. I didn't have any lines in Daniel's.

-Do you feel like you might be limited as an adult performer since you can't act?

Not really. I don't think that many adult performers CAN act. It's not just me. I can manage if we're told to improvise the dialogue. I think it might even be better that I can't act because what you see is totally genuine.

-But maybe you're lying to make us think that you're genuine and secretly you CAN act really well...

I assure you I can't, but if you don't believe me watch the vids--I'm sure it shows.

-That's your answer for everything--"watch my videos!""watch the videos!". If I asked you how to achieve world peace in our time you'd say "watch me suck this cock" or "watch me take this in the ass"...

Actually my answer on how to achieve world peace would be "abolish all religion everywhere, that's a good start, next make all the leaders of every nation female, then..." But some people might think that's a little radical. So yeah, sex is fun. Go watch me have sex instead of doing bad things for bad reasons.

-Oh, alright....

Mandy gets Titfucked.

-Tit-fucking--so, as a girl, tell us about tit-fucking--I mean--guys and girls with small tits, this is outside their experience--what's it like?

Umm...I get a real nice view. I don't think I can describe what it feels like to have a cock between your tits. It just feels like that and nothing else.

-Does it feel good?

Sometimes. Sometimes I'm indifferent to the physical feeling. The fun part about being tit-fucked is mostly visual and mental.

-What're you watching?

The Wire---season 1.

-How's that?

It's good I like it--and I usually hate all TV.

-Because they say stuff like "I'm gonna write my clowny-ass name on this check" or just all those beautiful black men?

Oh both, it's well written and the actors are great AND totally hot.

-Do you wish they'd punch each other more?

They're doing alright just the way they are. More punching might mean less dialog and they're real good at that. Again, the attraction isn't just physical--the characters have charisma--sex appeal without having to take their clothes off and wrestle.

-What would you do if you were one of the girls working at Orlando's and they were always going in and out of that office?

I try to get in one of the better looking one's pants. And make sure he used a condom.

-Which one?

Not telling.

-Oh whatever--you know it's Omar--anyway...you got some cute mail this week, this girl writes:"My boyfriend and I thoroughly enjoy everything you do on your site, and we find your blog entertaining to boot. Every week it's like, "ooooh, new mandy video is up!" Then we cuddle in bed and dig every second. Thanks for doing what you do. <3"
...What do you think of that?

I think that's great (and adorable). It's certainly an amazing compliment, and I'm really happy they actually wrote to me. (And it's not just Omar...)

-You think a lot of people are going "ooh, new Mandy video is up?" every saturday?

I don't know--of course I hope so--but I somehow doubt it's "a lot of people".

-If you could conduct secret surveillance on someone like in "The Wire" would you use it on?

Ha ha. All the porn girls I know. Cause that would be hot. And the presidential candidates so me and my friends could know what they really think about all the crap they talk about. And scientists--like the ones working on secret government experiments that we don't get to know about.

-Oh speaking of hot interracial action, as we were a moment ago, Super Tuesday's coming up--who do you like: Hillary or Obama?

Obama.

-I will do you the favor of assuming this is a policy-based decision--but what's wrong with Hillary?

Sigh---she's shrill and inauthentic. She pretends to have good intentions but I don't think she's any better than most republicans. She's too moderate. She won't change anything, she'll just keep doing the same bullshit everyone else has been doing for the past 20 years...and the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. And the results of what is deemed "education" get worse and worse--and then of course there's health care. Anyway...I'm not American, and I think this two party system you guys have got is awfully weird. Unbalanced. Is that a good enough answer? I hate politics.

-Seems like you know about it, though?

Well I have to live here right? I better be paying attention.

-Word.