-So how're you doing today, Mandy Morbid?
I'm very sick. I caught Zak's horrible cold. Otherwise, as far as I can tell things are good.
-So I notice your site has been having some identity issues lately...
Yeah, it's not my fault.
-I don't care whose fault it is, what I want to know is, is there still new porn on this site every saturday or what?
There's supposed to be but it doesn't always work. There's new porn this week, but there wasn't last week, but there was the week before. I think I've figured out how to keep it working now though. Every week. (Fingers crossed.)
-What kind of operation are you running over there, Missy?
A very very DIY one. Deal with it. I've had a real rough couple of months up until March and now I'm ill again...
-Like ill like normal "get well soon, Mandy" ill or like some epic obstacle-to-me-getting-to-see-you-with-jizz-on-you ill?
It's always epic with me. It can take me weeks to heal from the common cold if my asthma kicks in, which it almost always does, AND it's allergy season. In the past 3 weeks I've been on two rounds of antibiotics...And this is all actually an improvement, since now the endometriosis is less painful since my surgery in January and my asthma is getting better from going to the gym regularly with Kimberly.
-Do you guys go to a magical porno gym where everybody s sweaty and naked and it's like in a Madonna video?
We wish! (And oh, I have enough new stuff edited to keep the site uploading while I take my week or two to recover from this current plague-cold-round-of-infections. So don't worry too much about not having new Mandy porn.)
-So the upshot is: "Yes, new porn every Saturday"?
That is my goal. Oh, hey, check this out! http://fleshbot.com/5210338/kane-does-morbid
Kimberly Kane shot me for her Super 8 film "My Pornographic Suicide", photo by Agata Alexander.
-Fine, I did. Now you check this out:
http://lovesetfire.com/ang_generator.html
It's a random DC comics porn movie generator. I got: Starfire and/or any other member of the Teen Titans have sex due to impending death. Then I got:Conor Hawke and Dinah Lance are both in love with the same person...
I got Raven and Bruce Wayne under the influence of sex pollen and then I got Lex Luthor and Poison Ivy are assumed to be sleeping together (but aren't yet.)
-Do you use a random generator to make your movies? "An alt-porn girl with pink hair has sex with a girl with a big butt and red-striped socks in a grey bed with blue sheets and the camera is wobbly."?
Pretty much. Unless someone asks for something specific they'd like to see or KK is around. (And yes, yes I know you all what to see more tentacle sex, I'm working on it.)
-I want to see...
"An 8-legged tentacle monster with a purplish-yellow beak and four toes fuck Mandy and Kimberly and Satine Phoenix with a candlestick in the drawing room"
Ok. But why with a candlestick when there is tentacles? You know what's really irritating when you have a cold? Nose piercings. So so annoying....
Wanna know what I did last week?
-Yes, but first I want to use this Ronnie James Dio advice generator at teiresias.net, it says: "Mandy, In the palace of the virgin, lies the chalice of the soul, and it's likely you might find the answer there." Ok, I'm going to go look in that palace, meanwhile tell everybody what you did last week...
Actually I don't know if this was last week or the week before...but on some Tuesday recently I modeled for Sawa Suicide when she shot some photos for the band Goatwhore. She tied me to a pillar and covered me in fake blood. Then, she, Zak and I all went to see Brutal Truth play at the Knitting Factory. I got an awesome shirt with a Minotaur on it. Then Thursday Zak, Kimberly, Agata, Steve Diet Goedde and I went to the art walk downtown and saw some art and April Flores was modeling in some gallery, then we ran into Dana DeArmond and went so some bar and then I got tired and went home. On Saturday Kimberly shot me for her Super 8 film and then I watched Justice League Unlimited cartoons all day. Oh and I've been doing a bunch of dumb quizzes on facebook, like did you know if I were to be a Marvel superhero or bad guy I'd be Thanos? Oh, and going to the gym.
-A: Do you think Dana DeArmond is the Quiz Kid Donnie Smith of porn, now that she has braces?, and B: You'd be Thanos? Seriously?
A: Yes. Mainly just cause it's fun to say "Quiz Kid Dana"
B: Seriously according to that quiz. Also, in the X-Men I'd be Psylocke, the "Which Crazy Bitch Are You?" quiz thinks I'm Mallory Knox from Natural Born Killers, and the Sorting Hat from Harry Potter quiz put me in Ravenclaw (which is exactly where I'd want to be), and my "True Age" is 16. Also I'm "great in bed." Oh, and I'll die by being stabbed.
-Psylocke, Thanos, and Mallory Knox, huh? Did the quizzes go like: "Your favorite color is: 'I hate everyone.' My favorite subject in school is: 'I despise the human race.'...
Kinda, yeah.
-Well, I used this giant japanese monster generator at Seventh Sanctum.com and got: "The gigantic slimy gorilla. It used to live on the moon. It is a friend to all children." So...
Well that's great! Living on the moon sounds like fun and being a friend to all children is very admirable. Lets see what I get...Ahhha! "The gigantic ant that vomits acid on enemies. It was created by a lost civilization. It protects its mysterious life source."
-As Foucault would say, all systems of rules are merely a camouflage for systems of ideology. It would appear that, according to this monster-generator, it is impossible to generate a monster that is both a friend to all children and that ALSO protects its mysterious life source...
Perhaps...On that note, I'm going to try to rest now. Enjoy this week's POV.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Metal And Hot Girls VS The Presidents
-So, what have you been up to lately, Mandy?
Ummm...I've made some porn, I shot my first gun--went with Zak Sabbath, Kimberly Kane and a good friend from SuicideGirls.com--which was very frightening at first, and just slightly less frightning after doing it a few times, and I went to see some art today with Satine Phoenix, Zak and Darenzia. And last night Zak and I went to see Wolves in the Throne Room--who were AMAZING--and then spent the rest of the evening with KK and company at Tiny's in Hollywood. Also I've been watching PBS' American Experience documentaries about all the presidents, starting with Bush 1 and going backwards. Gotten to Lyndon Johnson so far. That's what I've been up to.
-Who do you like better: Jimmy Carter or Wolves In the Throne Room?
Wolves in the Throne Room.
-Darenzia or the Strategic Defense Initiative?
Ha ha. Darenzia of course!
-Kimberly Kane shooting a gun at a paper target or John Hinckley shooting a gun at Ronald Reagan?
I think I prefer metal and hot girls to almost anything having to do with former presidents at the moment.
-Well that ends that line of questioning...um, ok, let's check the mailbag...Um, Fergus from Low Plains, South Dakota asks: "If you were an ancient hag nesting at the bottom of the sea and someone tried to steal your rime-encrusted gold doubloons, what curse would you lay upon them?"
Oh now that's a tough one. So many curses to choose from...I'm not sure this is a prudent line of thought for me to get into...
-Miles from Dayton wants to know: "Do you really like cum on you, or do you just pretend to like cum in your movies? And, if you say you do, how do we know you're not lying?"
Gah, there is nothing a porn girl can say that would make any of you people who ask these kinds of questions believe or not believe they actually enjoy something in real life. You either choose to believe us or you don't...or maybe, I can say this: "If I didn't really enjoy it, why would I be making videos for free with me getting cum all over me and putting it up online for free, if I didn't actually get something out of it?" Is that effective at all?
-Chuckles from Whitereach, North Carolina asks: "Who was your favorite general in the Civil War, and would you cosider doing a scene with him?"
Oh, both Lee and Grant were equally interesting. But I don't think I'd do a scene with either one judging from their photos, nor can I decide which of the two I would prefer when it comes to physical attractiveness.
-So no love for the minor generals?
They were all fucking nuts. Especially that one guy....Forrest? Is that his name? Not as attractive as Lee or Grant either those minor generals.
-What about General Burnside? Here's a picture...
Ummm, well he's got awesome sideburns. But he's got nothing on Benny Profane. And I bet he doesn't have Benny's nifty genital piercing either.
-Ok, let's do some music reviews, here's Isis "Holy Tears"..what say you?
I like it, I've yet to hear any Isis I don't like. But I like that one album best...can't remember what it's called. Or maybe there's two of 'em I like best, but I am horrible at remembering the titles of songs and albums I like. Panopticon? Is that what it's called?
-Yeah, I'd say...ok, what about this...it's Burning Witch "Still Born"
I like this one too.
-What about this one: Leftover Crack "Ya Can't Go Home"?
It's good. Ok enough with the music quiz. It's time for the Tomorrow Show at the Steve Allen Theatre.
Ummm...I've made some porn, I shot my first gun--went with Zak Sabbath, Kimberly Kane and a good friend from SuicideGirls.com--which was very frightening at first, and just slightly less frightning after doing it a few times, and I went to see some art today with Satine Phoenix, Zak and Darenzia. And last night Zak and I went to see Wolves in the Throne Room--who were AMAZING--and then spent the rest of the evening with KK and company at Tiny's in Hollywood. Also I've been watching PBS' American Experience documentaries about all the presidents, starting with Bush 1 and going backwards. Gotten to Lyndon Johnson so far. That's what I've been up to.
-Who do you like better: Jimmy Carter or Wolves In the Throne Room?
Wolves in the Throne Room.
-Darenzia or the Strategic Defense Initiative?
Ha ha. Darenzia of course!
-Kimberly Kane shooting a gun at a paper target or John Hinckley shooting a gun at Ronald Reagan?
I think I prefer metal and hot girls to almost anything having to do with former presidents at the moment.
-Well that ends that line of questioning...um, ok, let's check the mailbag...Um, Fergus from Low Plains, South Dakota asks: "If you were an ancient hag nesting at the bottom of the sea and someone tried to steal your rime-encrusted gold doubloons, what curse would you lay upon them?"
Oh now that's a tough one. So many curses to choose from...I'm not sure this is a prudent line of thought for me to get into...
-Miles from Dayton wants to know: "Do you really like cum on you, or do you just pretend to like cum in your movies? And, if you say you do, how do we know you're not lying?"
Gah, there is nothing a porn girl can say that would make any of you people who ask these kinds of questions believe or not believe they actually enjoy something in real life. You either choose to believe us or you don't...or maybe, I can say this: "If I didn't really enjoy it, why would I be making videos for free with me getting cum all over me and putting it up online for free, if I didn't actually get something out of it?" Is that effective at all?
-Chuckles from Whitereach, North Carolina asks: "Who was your favorite general in the Civil War, and would you cosider doing a scene with him?"
Oh, both Lee and Grant were equally interesting. But I don't think I'd do a scene with either one judging from their photos, nor can I decide which of the two I would prefer when it comes to physical attractiveness.
-So no love for the minor generals?
They were all fucking nuts. Especially that one guy....Forrest? Is that his name? Not as attractive as Lee or Grant either those minor generals.
-What about General Burnside? Here's a picture...
Ummm, well he's got awesome sideburns. But he's got nothing on Benny Profane. And I bet he doesn't have Benny's nifty genital piercing either.
-Ok, let's do some music reviews, here's Isis "Holy Tears"..what say you?
I like it, I've yet to hear any Isis I don't like. But I like that one album best...can't remember what it's called. Or maybe there's two of 'em I like best, but I am horrible at remembering the titles of songs and albums I like. Panopticon? Is that what it's called?
-Yeah, I'd say...ok, what about this...it's Burning Witch "Still Born"
I like this one too.
-What about this one: Leftover Crack "Ya Can't Go Home"?
It's good. Ok enough with the music quiz. It's time for the Tomorrow Show at the Steve Allen Theatre.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
MANDY IS BACK!
-So, Mandy, WTF is up with your site? Are you quitting? Should I forget about jerking off to you every week all together?
Please don't forget about jerking off to me--the site was not uploading new vids because I was very sick for a long time but I am better now and making new videos to put up each week again. Yes new content each week again! The site was also down for a bit because I couldn't upoad the new video, hence the new layout and the archives being gone at the moment. It may not be the prettiest website but the video loads and that's all that matters.
-I only ever noticed the video anyway...Oh, shit, you're right, there's fucking graphic design around your boobs...how long has that been there?
Like 3 years! You don't pay attention to me at all. Sigh.
-It's true, giant pair of boobs, I don't pay nearly enough attention to you--HOLY FUCK--did you know you have a head floating over you? And it has a fucking mohawk? Freaky.
That is freaky. I like the word "freaky" for some reason.
-Freaky is my middle name. And my first name. Oh--and it's my last name, so if you marry me it'll be your last name too so you should marry me.
I'm not so sure I'm the marrying type. Besides I have a wife she lives in Berlin and she's fucking hot. We dressed up and got drunk and went to DisneyLand. Got "married" on It's A Small World. People clapped and I got to sign autographs for little girls. If you want to see I could post some pics in the next blog, but I won't do it if you don't care. So you all have to write me and let me know if you want to see 'em.
-How did you convince a European to go to Disneyworld? Isn't it against their religion or something?
She didn't know she was going. We had her blindfolded.
-So, wait, you took this girl, blindfolded her, threw her in a car, got her all the way into Disneyland and onto "It's A Small World" and then took the blinfold off and married her with all those insane animatronic children climbing alps and shit all around her and singing the same thing over and over? Weren't you worried her head would explode?
That's pretty much it except replace car with limo and then you've got it. I think her head did explode a little but she had enough whisky in her to keep it from getting messy. We looked fabulous and it was one of the most amazing nights of my life. You all should have been there. Only I'm real mean to boys when I'm drunk.
-What else have you been up to?
Well, I've got Pixie Pearl staying with me, and I've been making friends with Coco Velvette--better friends I mean. I'm learning Hungarian and html and ftp (the Hungarian is the most difficult so far.) I went to a Burning Angel party last week and got to know Joanna Angel a bit. Ummm....I'm waiting for Kimberly Kane to get better (she has a cold) so we can shoot and go to the gym...is that enough?
-I saw pictures from Sasha Grey's birthday party--you weren't there. Does she hate you?
No, I don't think so. We just couldn't make it because I was a bit sick and all the cigarette smoke in Vegas makes me very very sick and I wanted to be able to make some more porn this week. I'm shooting with Coco tomorrow, then I've got a photoshoot on Thursday, then I'm shooting a scene with Pixie on Friday. I didn't want to have to cancel all that, so I missed a good party.
-How was that Burning Angel party? Was there crazy orgies?
No orgies.
-Did Pixie Pearl accidentally put her purse in a pool of vomit which then forced her to rig together a makeshift handbag out of plastic grocery bags?
Yes, and it was a really impressive handbag too! Pixie also decided to disappear and make everyone worry and stand in the cold for an hour looking for her, and calling a certain rock star's phone number so we could find out if she had gone to the rock star's house without telling anyone.
-Did she do him?
That is a mystery. She said she didn't but she also said she drank a bunch of absinthe and can't remember everything. I know she did show him her awesome boobs. He said he liked them.
-What were you doing while he was looking at her boobs?
Repeating that scene from Hospital with Coco and Zak, only better.
-Did Zak wear those retarded--excuse me, developmentally disabled--sunglasses?
No, I said it was better, there was no sunglasses. There was a lot more giggling and squeaking.
-Did the rock star at least drive her home?
Who expects a rock star to drive them anywhere?! No he didn't, as was totally expected. He has someone to do that for him.
-So this rock star's amanuensis drove Pixie back to your house? What kind of car did he drive?
I don't know what kind of car the assistant had--he took her to a hotel for the night. We, Coco, Zak and I, went to pick her up the next day after we had lunch/breakfast.
-What hotel? Why? Was this rock star's famous model/actress/girlfriend notdown with a Pixie Pearl threesome?
It was a Best Western. And I don't know why. As far as I know there isn't currently a famous model/actress/girlfriend for this particular rock star. Maybe he had work to do in the morning and didn't want a Pixie Pearl in his way.
-Have you ever fucked Pixie Pearl?
Of course! I've fucked Pixie a whole bunch of times.
-Does she remember it?
Yes.
-So it's safe to say not only do you have more fun than rock stars, but you're more fun to fuck, too?
Hmm...apparently. But I have great tits and the rock star doesn't.
Please don't forget about jerking off to me--the site was not uploading new vids because I was very sick for a long time but I am better now and making new videos to put up each week again. Yes new content each week again! The site was also down for a bit because I couldn't upoad the new video, hence the new layout and the archives being gone at the moment. It may not be the prettiest website but the video loads and that's all that matters.
-I only ever noticed the video anyway...Oh, shit, you're right, there's fucking graphic design around your boobs...how long has that been there?
Like 3 years! You don't pay attention to me at all. Sigh.
-It's true, giant pair of boobs, I don't pay nearly enough attention to you--HOLY FUCK--did you know you have a head floating over you? And it has a fucking mohawk? Freaky.
That is freaky. I like the word "freaky" for some reason.
-Freaky is my middle name. And my first name. Oh--and it's my last name, so if you marry me it'll be your last name too so you should marry me.
I'm not so sure I'm the marrying type. Besides I have a wife she lives in Berlin and she's fucking hot. We dressed up and got drunk and went to DisneyLand. Got "married" on It's A Small World. People clapped and I got to sign autographs for little girls. If you want to see I could post some pics in the next blog, but I won't do it if you don't care. So you all have to write me and let me know if you want to see 'em.
-How did you convince a European to go to Disneyworld? Isn't it against their religion or something?
She didn't know she was going. We had her blindfolded.
-So, wait, you took this girl, blindfolded her, threw her in a car, got her all the way into Disneyland and onto "It's A Small World" and then took the blinfold off and married her with all those insane animatronic children climbing alps and shit all around her and singing the same thing over and over? Weren't you worried her head would explode?
That's pretty much it except replace car with limo and then you've got it. I think her head did explode a little but she had enough whisky in her to keep it from getting messy. We looked fabulous and it was one of the most amazing nights of my life. You all should have been there. Only I'm real mean to boys when I'm drunk.
-What else have you been up to?
Well, I've got Pixie Pearl staying with me, and I've been making friends with Coco Velvette--better friends I mean. I'm learning Hungarian and html and ftp (the Hungarian is the most difficult so far.) I went to a Burning Angel party last week and got to know Joanna Angel a bit. Ummm....I'm waiting for Kimberly Kane to get better (she has a cold) so we can shoot and go to the gym...is that enough?
-I saw pictures from Sasha Grey's birthday party--you weren't there. Does she hate you?
No, I don't think so. We just couldn't make it because I was a bit sick and all the cigarette smoke in Vegas makes me very very sick and I wanted to be able to make some more porn this week. I'm shooting with Coco tomorrow, then I've got a photoshoot on Thursday, then I'm shooting a scene with Pixie on Friday. I didn't want to have to cancel all that, so I missed a good party.
-How was that Burning Angel party? Was there crazy orgies?
No orgies.
-Did Pixie Pearl accidentally put her purse in a pool of vomit which then forced her to rig together a makeshift handbag out of plastic grocery bags?
Yes, and it was a really impressive handbag too! Pixie also decided to disappear and make everyone worry and stand in the cold for an hour looking for her, and calling a certain rock star's phone number so we could find out if she had gone to the rock star's house without telling anyone.
-Did she do him?
That is a mystery. She said she didn't but she also said she drank a bunch of absinthe and can't remember everything. I know she did show him her awesome boobs. He said he liked them.
-What were you doing while he was looking at her boobs?
Repeating that scene from Hospital with Coco and Zak, only better.
-Did Zak wear those retarded--excuse me, developmentally disabled--sunglasses?
No, I said it was better, there was no sunglasses. There was a lot more giggling and squeaking.
-Did the rock star at least drive her home?
Who expects a rock star to drive them anywhere?! No he didn't, as was totally expected. He has someone to do that for him.
-So this rock star's amanuensis drove Pixie back to your house? What kind of car did he drive?
I don't know what kind of car the assistant had--he took her to a hotel for the night. We, Coco, Zak and I, went to pick her up the next day after we had lunch/breakfast.
-What hotel? Why? Was this rock star's famous model/actress/girlfriend notdown with a Pixie Pearl threesome?
It was a Best Western. And I don't know why. As far as I know there isn't currently a famous model/actress/girlfriend for this particular rock star. Maybe he had work to do in the morning and didn't want a Pixie Pearl in his way.
-Have you ever fucked Pixie Pearl?
Of course! I've fucked Pixie a whole bunch of times.
-Does she remember it?
Yes.
-So it's safe to say not only do you have more fun than rock stars, but you're more fun to fuck, too?
Hmm...apparently. But I have great tits and the rock star doesn't.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Mandy Morbid is onTwitter!
Ok, so Kimberly Kane got me on Twitter. Now if you want to see what I'm up to you can follow me.
In other news I am blond and have extensions in my mohawk now. I love it but may go green soon. Who wants to see Mandy Morbid with green hair?
I am also co-hosting a top ten type video podcast about all sorts of geeky things like Star Wars, Star Trek, sci-fi, comic books, etc. When it's ready I'll post links to the vid so you all can see! We've only shot the first one so far.
In other news I am blond and have extensions in my mohawk now. I love it but may go green soon. Who wants to see Mandy Morbid with green hair?
I am also co-hosting a top ten type video podcast about all sorts of geeky things like Star Wars, Star Trek, sci-fi, comic books, etc. When it's ready I'll post links to the vid so you all can see! We've only shot the first one so far.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Photos!
And...
When is the next video going up?
-In the next 3 weeks.
What's the matter?
-I have endometriosis and I needed surgery and now I am recovering from surgery and also I am adjusting to new medication.
Does the medication affect how many hot sluts you know?
-No.
So the lack of new videos lately is due entirely to your illness and not to the parlous state of our economy?
-That is, indeed, the truth.
Let us talk of more pleasant things, I heard your movie was up for an AVN award this year...
-Yeah, Hospital was up for "Best DVD Menu" and it didn't win. Is that more pleasant?
Was there anyone shorter than you at AVN?
-I think Joanna Angel is shorter than I am. By just a little. And there was Nick, Justine Joli's little person body guard/friend (is that the correct term, litle person?)
How tall was he?
-Less than four feet, but I'm not really sure. I didn't measure him.
The fat comedian lady who hosted the awards made fun of him.
-Well she wasn't very funny anyway.
She was very fat, though.
-Yes.
And not in a hot way, like April Flores.
-No, not in a hot way, though judging by her jokes, she thinks she is.
Your pal Kimberly Kane won one, and Sasha...
-So I heard, I didn't see them win though I got bored and went to eat bad Vegas Thai food. But I'm glad people I like won stuff.
Did you notice the part where they were announcing the guest hosts but the video monitor over the stage wasn't synched up with the sound so that, like, there'd be a picture of some buff dude in sunglasses and they'd announce 'starring Tera Patrick' or there'd be a photo of Jesse Jane while the voice went "Larry Flynt!"
-Yes and THAT was funny.
How many orgies did you go to?
-None this year--I went to a crazy sex party that was supposed to turn into an orgy and didn't and so it was stupid and I left early.
Man, I hear you! I hate it when parties keep not turning into orgies!
-I know, parties almost always suck unless they turn into orgies. I was way better at making parties fun that one year after high school....Oh well.
You know about the parties-not-turning-into-orgies problems I've been having...
-You've got some serious-ass-parties-not-turning-into-orgies problems!
That's why we have these Precious Roy Party-Into-Orgy kits for only $19.99!
-Oooo what's in the kit?
Just spray this patented Precious Roy formula on a party and everyone who is ugly or who is too boring to want to fuck lots of people falls down, chokes on their own vomit, and flings their own corpse out the window!
-Sounds great so long as they clean up the vomit first.
Precious! What do you have to say about this kit?
-BUY MY ZEBRA LUNCH BOX! SUCKERS!
Sunday, February 1, 2009
News
When is the next video going up?
-In the next 3 weeks.
What's the matter?
-I have endometriosis and I needed surgery and now I am recovering from surgery and also I am adjusting to new medication.
Does the medication affect how many hot sluts you know?
-No.
So the lack of new videos lately is due entirely to your illness and not to the parlous state of our economy?
-That is, indeed, the truth.
Let us talk of more pleasant things, I heard your movie was up for an AVN award this year...
-Yeah, Hospital was up for "Best DVD Menu" and it didn't win. Is that more pleasant?
Was there anyone shorter than you at AVN?
-I think Joanna Angel is shorter than I am. By just a little. And there was Nick, Justine Joli's little person body guard/friend (is that the correct term, litle person?)
How tall was he?
-Less than four feet, but I'm not really sure. I didn't measure him.
The fat comedian lady who hosted the awards made fun of him.
-Well she wasn't very funny anyway.
She was very fat, though.
-Yes.
And not in a hot way, like April Flores.
-No, not in a hot way, though judging by her jokes, she thinks she is.
Your pal Kimberly Kane won one, and Sasha...
-So I heard, I didn't see them win though I got bored and went to eat bad Vegas Thai food. But I'm glad people I like won stuff.
Did you notice the part where they were announcing the guest hosts but the video monitor over the stage wasn't synched up with the sound so that, like, there'd be a picture of some buff dude in sunglasses and they'd announce 'starring Tera Patrick' or there'd be a photo of Jesse Jane while the voice went "Larry Flynt!"
-Yes and THAT was funny.
How many orgies did you go to?
-None this year--I went to a crazy sex party that was supposed to turn into an orgy and didn't and so it was stupid and I left early.
Man, I hear you! I hate it when parties keep not turning into orgies!
-I know, parties almost always suck unless they turn into orgies. I was way better at making parties fun that one year after high school....Oh well.
You know about the parties-not-turning-into-orgies problems I've been having...
-You've got some serious-ass-parties-not-turning-into-orgies problems!
That's why we have these Precious Roy Party-Into-Orgy kits for only $19.99!
-Oooo what's in the kit?
Just spray this patented Precious Roy formula on a party and everyone who is ugly or who is too boring to want to fuck lots of people falls down, chokes on their own vomit, and flings their own corpse out the window!
-Sounds great so long as they clean up the vomit first.
Precious! What do you have to say about this kit?
-BUY MY ZEBRA LUNCH BOX! SUCKERS!
-In the next 3 weeks.
What's the matter?
-I have endometriosis and I needed surgery and now I am recovering from surgery and also I am adjusting to new medication.
Does the medication affect how many hot sluts you know?
-No.
So the lack of new videos lately is due entirely to your illness and not to the parlous state of our economy?
-That is, indeed, the truth.
Let us talk of more pleasant things, I heard your movie was up for an AVN award this year...
-Yeah, Hospital was up for "Best DVD Menu" and it didn't win. Is that more pleasant?
Was there anyone shorter than you at AVN?
-I think Joanna Angel is shorter than I am. By just a little. And there was Nick, Justine Joli's little person body guard/friend (is that the correct term, litle person?)
How tall was he?
-Less than four feet, but I'm not really sure. I didn't measure him.
The fat comedian lady who hosted the awards made fun of him.
-Well she wasn't very funny anyway.
She was very fat, though.
-Yes.
And not in a hot way, like April Flores.
-No, not in a hot way, though judging by her jokes, she thinks she is.
Your pal Kimberly Kane won one, and Sasha...
-So I heard, I didn't see them win though I got bored and went to eat bad Vegas Thai food. But I'm glad people I like won stuff.
Did you notice the part where they were announcing the guest hosts but the video monitor over the stage wasn't synched up with the sound so that, like, there'd be a picture of some buff dude in sunglasses and they'd announce 'starring Tera Patrick' or there'd be a photo of Jesse Jane while the voice went "Larry Flynt!"
-Yes and THAT was funny.
How many orgies did you go to?
-None this year--I went to a crazy sex party that was supposed to turn into an orgy and didn't and so it was stupid and I left early.
Man, I hear you! I hate it when parties keep not turning into orgies!
-I know, parties almost always suck unless they turn into orgies. I was way better at making parties fun that one year after high school....Oh well.
You know about the parties-not-turning-into-orgies problems I've been having...
-You've got some serious-ass-parties-not-turning-into-orgies problems!
That's why we have these Precious Roy Party-Into-Orgy kits for only $19.99!
-Oooo what's in the kit?
Just spray this patented Precious Roy formula on a party and everyone who is ugly or who is too boring to want to fuck lots of people falls down, chokes on their own vomit, and flings their own corpse out the window!
-Sounds great so long as they clean up the vomit first.
Precious! What do you have to say about this kit?
-BUY MY ZEBRA LUNCH BOX! SUCKERS!
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Things are looking up.
Things I have to look forward to (in chronological order, not in order of importance):
-Being healed from my surgery and feeling better because of the surgery.
-Plans to play Wii with SG Starla next week, and Kimberly
Kane too.
-Being allowed to have sex again after my surgery and make some new videos for MandyMorbid.com!!
-Pixie Pearl coming to stay with me and Zak next month.
- SG Temper coming to visit in March!! (And if I'm lucky deciding to never leave.)
-Possibly a trip to NYC in March too.
-A SG Quinne and Adria(that's me) joint-birthday-house-party in SF in April. Our birthdays are a day apart, same year. We will bake our own cake and drink and talk about being Canadian. I have plans to drag Starla and Kimberly along.
-Maybe seeing SG Vivid again sooner rather than later.
-Caitsey coming to LA sometime soon, she says.
-Not leaving Los Angeles for X-Mas this year.
Things that are I am currently pleased with:
-My new Wii.
-Seeing Amebix play last night, they were amazing!
-Medication that works and feeling better.
-Learning Hungarian is quite easy so far.
-Zak's model future-city.
-My sister's learning to play the cello, and she's good.
-Being healed from my surgery and feeling better because of the surgery.
-Plans to play Wii with SG Starla next week, and Kimberly
Kane too.
-Being allowed to have sex again after my surgery and make some new videos for MandyMorbid.com!!
-Pixie Pearl coming to stay with me and Zak next month.
- SG Temper coming to visit in March!! (And if I'm lucky deciding to never leave.)
-Possibly a trip to NYC in March too.
-A SG Quinne and Adria(that's me) joint-birthday-house-party in SF in April. Our birthdays are a day apart, same year. We will bake our own cake and drink and talk about being Canadian. I have plans to drag Starla and Kimberly along.
-Maybe seeing SG Vivid again sooner rather than later.
-Caitsey coming to LA sometime soon, she says.
-Not leaving Los Angeles for X-Mas this year.
Things that are I am currently pleased with:
-My new Wii.
-Seeing Amebix play last night, they were amazing!
-Medication that works and feeling better.
-Learning Hungarian is quite easy so far.
-Zak's model future-city.
-My sister's learning to play the cello, and she's good.
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