-There is no video. I'm working on the site, it's going to be different.
What've you been up to?
- Asthma attacks, Dungeons and Dragons, more asthma. Oh and some arthritis, fibromyalgia, migraines, allergies, probably now a sinus/upper respiratory infection. I tried to dance again for one night but had a nasty attack the next day so I can't do that again any time soon. A little bit of ass fucking to keep life from getting too dismal. The fevers make my eyes burn so I can't spend much time playing video games or reading either--never mind the headaches. Oh and I fell and skinned my knee and bruised my elbows walking to Connie's house one night. I'm bored and frustrated.
Who do you play Dungeons and Dragons with?
- Zak Smith/Sabbath, Kimberly Kane (and her bearded dragon Liz), Frankie, Satine Pheonix, Connie, and sometimes Danny Wylde (Daniel). Sasha Grey played once with us, and Justine Joli played with us for a couple days too. Justine and I got make out a little. The girls (and Zak of course) have all been really great about helping me out while I've been ill--they deserve some credit for that.
What do you eat when you're sick?
- Anything I feel like. Zak made me banana bread the morning after my scary attack.
Can he cook?
- Yes. It was very good. It came from a box, but some people can still fuck those up pretty badly. Also I've been eating a lot of popcorn.
Do you watch movies while you eat popcorn?
-We played DnD and I also did a photoshoot with Charlotte Stokely and Ellen Stagg while eating popcorn. But that's a good idea--Kimberly lent me Star Trek I should make some popcorn and watch it tonight.
How'd your thing with Charlotte go?
- I suppose it went well. Charlotte is very very sweet.
Can we see pictures?
- Ok?
Ok.
20 comments:
Being sick is no fun and it all seems to really aggravate fibromylagia and then you end up feeling even worse. I don't make a very good sick person either. I hope you feel better soon.
Cute photographs.
Get well soon.
And greetings from Colombia.
being an asthmatic person who gets bronchitis constantly i know how much it hurts to move/breathe at times. i really hope that you feel better soon. the web site could disappear; what matters is your health.
Feel better soon. Asthma sucks. You also have arthritis? Both problems with the immune system. There's a type of anti-biotic that is also an anti-rejection med for organ transplants. It calms the immune system. Maybe you could ask your doctor about it?
As somebody who has been dealing with fibro since I was twelve, I feel for you. Take your time and get better, yeah? Without your health, you have nothing.
Alright, so I seriously doubt you will even respond to this, and I can't say that I blame, but this has been on my mind for a while. In fact I'd like to ask a lot of other people this question just to satisfy my own curiosity. Anyway, I'll get to it.
My question is this: Do you enjoy the porn industry? I mean do you legitimately enjoy what you do, or is it just a pay-check to keep you going?
@ Zui:
I've answered this question before.
If you knew my work at all you'd know that my website free--so that clearly isn't "just a paycheck". It's for fun.
I've been in very few feature adult films, about 4 or 5 in the past 3 years, I'm a part time performer so I only work when I'm healthy and when it's something (someone) I'm actually interested in.
@Mandy
Well then, I'm glad to hear that. If that's the case, then more power to ya. Thanks for your time.
Wow.
So, I'm not sure I can watch your videos anymore. Yes, that sounds stupid, but let me explain first:
Lately, I've been attending a lot of Anarchist/Social-issue workshops around California. The most recent workshop I went to was on Feminism. While I was always aware of the issue and didn't really see myself as a sexist in any way, I was always afraid to get too introspective for fear of what I might see in myself. As much as I hate to admit it, there is something really dehumanizing about porn, to me at least. You never even consider the fact that the people on screen are people, rather you see them as objects. Fucking objects. I just saw that in myself, and it hit me pretty hard.
All of this isn't just coming to me out of thin air. I just read your interview on Drowning in Odium. I was left feeling like just another mindless drone with an over-active libido and a fucking creep after I finished it. If there's anything I hate, it's to feel stupid and mass-produced (well, and being told what to do). You've been thoroughly humanized to me. I don't at all disagree with anything you are doing. It's just this:
Not only is that fact that you are a fellow Anarchist fucking rad, but (you might disagree) after reading through it all, I saw that we weren't so different (if only epiphanies like this would happen all the time, maybe we wouldn't have so many ignorant bigots running around). You see, my little brother has down-syndrome, and I thought it was really awesome that you've worked with special needs kids. Most girls that come around my place just treat him like he's weird and turn their nose up at him. It pisses me off. Aside from that, I think I read somewhere in your blog that you have cystic-fibrosis. My older sister was diagnosed with cystic-fibrosis about six months ago. She's really amazing, but it's a little tough to hang out with her sometimes. She's in near-constant pain and has to be constantly medicated just to keep to it down to a tolerable level. Hell, the doctors were having such a hard time finding something that would help her with the pain, they put her on a super-concentrated dose of morphine. The stuff was so strong and fucked her up so bad that when she decided it was doing more harm than good and she stopped taking it, she had serious withdrawals for over two weeks. Ever seen Trainspotting? Like that. We thought she was going to die. All that coupled with the stress of paying the bills and taking care of her kids, well...it takes a toll on her. My whole point in all that is feel for you. Last but not least, the bit about your boyfriend being the one you would like to have sex with over and over again over anyone else, was - quite frankly -
very touching (haha does that make me sound less manly?). You seem like a really cool person.
Holy shit, that was quite the rant. Don't worry about reading it, I guess. It's pretty long. I just felt like it was a story that needed telling. Call it whimsy. Call it insanity. Whatever. It's there.
Thanks for writing Zui. I appreciate it.
I hope you get well soon!
And oh, I think you´re a very beautiful and sexy woman and I´d like to post some pictures of you on my blog. I´ve already done it once though, without your permission (kill me if you want). Do you have any pictures out there that´re free to use?
@ Manlighetens drömmar:
I don't mind you posting photos of me--so long as you say it's me. Also if credit is due to the photographer then that also would be appreciated.
If you google for pics of me you'll find lots of stuff you're free to use as far as I know, many shot by Ellen Stagg, Bob Coulter, and Steve Prue.
What's you're blog? I wanna see.
Thank you for your answer. :)
I´m glad to hear that!
Of course, I´m always really pernickety when it comes to the source of the pictures i post on my blog.
You can just click on my name "Manlighetens drömmar" or I´ll just give you the link in this comment. :) And, it´s a Swedish blog, just give me a shout of if you want something translated, I´ll be happy to do it.
I really hope your asthma gets better - I also suffer from it but can pretty much keep it i shack with medicin, luckely.
Here´s the url for my blog.
http://manlighetensdrommar.blogspot.com/
Cheers.
I'm sure you've heard a hundred times about how beneficial heat can be for Myalgia. Microwaving water, dipping rags in it and applying to to various aches can relieve minor pains. Soaking your feet in hot water. I could go on for hours.
Sorry to hear you're not feeling good. Hope you feel better.
Asthma is no fun. I had a bad asthma problem a few years ago, but I am good now so don't give up hope. I am pretty allergic to secondhand cigarette smoke, but refused to curtail my social life in pre-smoking ban NYC. So I had bronchitis for basically 2 years straight, and then became asthmatic. I found a good doctor, who also gave me most of the medicine from the samples he gets from drug companies. He gave me Claratin-D for allergies and to help clear my lungs, he gave me Serevent short term for asthma and Volmax tablets for long term treatment of the asthma. The Volmax really helped and built my breathing back up. I am not around second hand smoke now, am off all medication and haven't had any breathing problems in years so don't give up.
nebulizers and nintendo.
that used to be my life.
Hey just found your blogspot and became a fan. What kind of minis do you use for AD&D? Reapers stuff, the crappy official minis or figures from GW? And if its the non painted stuff, do you paint your own?
OMg, I take Symbicort too!
Lol, we have that same inhaler. :D
Ya I fucking hate allergies too; I've got a level 4 allergy to grass. I'm pretty sure I wasn't meant to live LOL. That's the kind of allergy that makes people swell up when they eat food and choke to death. Yet despite that, got all 230 lbs of me working construction being the grunt mule for my journeymen. /flex
So speaking of D&D, ever play Exalted or World of Darkness games? I love Vampire the Masquerade, personally.
I'ma go ahead and outgeek you: http://dying_swan.webs.com/larpleather.jpg Larpin'!
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