Saturday, March 29, 2008

This WILL BE Mandy +Glass Dildo in her Asshole. (AND A CONTEST!)

Sorry for the delay this weekend. The new vid will be online as soon as possible. We are having some technical difficulties, but hope to resolve them soon.

-So when this goes up what'll it be?

It'll be me (and Zak was kind enough to lend a hand) playing with one of Kimberly Kane's glass dildos. In my butt. It felt good. Just in case you can't tell when you see it.

-So what are you doing right now? Is there a glass dildo in your butt as we speak?

No, I'm visiting someone's family in Ojai. There's a show about how hot dogs are made on the t.v. The old Star Trek episodes are way more interesting.

-Which episodes?

All of them are better than watching liquified meat....but it was the one where the alien babe's necklace turns out to made of dilithium crystals and therefore saves everyone.

-What would you do if the "glass" dildo turned out to be actually made of dilithium crystals?

Well that'd be handy if Spock ever showed up again, during a typical Enterprise crisis, wouldn't it?

-Ummm--why would Spock show up while you had a glass dildo in your ass? I'm confused.

Who said he was gonna show up while it was in my ass. Maybe I'd just be looking at it, or cleaning it, or didn't even have it out.

-My point is, why would Spock be showing up at all?

If they were looking for the dilithium crystals. That's why.

-Ok, wait. Have you ever met Spock?

Yes. Well, no. I met Leonard Nimoy. At some art place. On my birthday.

-Is he a fan?

I have no idea.I doubt it. He was a fan of the painting of me I think.

-Weird. Did he ask you if he could borrow your dildo in order to power his space ship?

No, I didn't have any dildos yet.

-If the other show was about how glass dildos were made instead of how hot dogs were made would you like it?

Glass dildos look way cooler than hot dogs but taste much worse. So probably.

-Did you know that glass blowing requires a device called a "glory-hole"?

No. But that's kinda awesome.

-According to wikipedia it's "A glassblowing term for an opening in a furnace, or a stand alone furnace, which is used to reheat the molten glass as it is formed". So in order to make that dildo, you need a "glory hole". Also, according to wikipedia, it's "A small compartment fore or aft of the main engine room in a ship, usually contains access to steering or output shaft gear." So maybe there's one on the Enterprise. So do you think maybe Scotty sometimes says "I canna remove the crstals from the glory-hole Captain, she's going ta blow sky high!"?

Oh, who knows, you're being silly. I think the actor who played Scotty was Canadian too, like William Shatner. I think I read something about him in a newspaper when he died. I could be wrong though.

Hey, did you know Kimberly Kane shot this new footage? Isn't she amazing? There will be stills from this scene up at www.kanearmy.com soon I think.

-How did you get her too do that? Did you go "Hey Kimberly, can you gimme some footage?" and she said "Yeah, sure" 'cause she thought you meant you were gonna foot-fuck her again?

Um, I think she just really wanted to watch me get fucked. By Zak Sabbath. I think she has a little list of naughty things she wants to see me do with certain people.

-In Wikipedia, it says Scotty is Canadian and they have a picture of Kimberly Kane there where she looks Egyptian.

Ok.

-Did you know Leonard Nimoy photographs naked girls?

Yes I knew that. Did you know I also met his wife? Who played alien chicks on the show? (Or, I think she did, she looked very familiar.)

-I didn't. Did you envy her because she got to play an alien girl on Star Trek and you didn't and if you ever do it'll be on the stupid Scott Bakula one or one of those star Trek movies that they make that nobody watches?

I would never ever be on that travesty of a Star Trek show. But I watch those movies when I really need a sci-fi fix and I've already watched all the good movies and Star Wars.

-HEY! Would you give a prize to a fan who recommended a good sci-fi movie to you that you never saw before?

I would. But I'd have to think up a decent prize. Signed photos or something maybe.

-Signed panties?

Sure. Worn panties?

-Of course.

Yeah. Good sci-fi movies. Let's do it.

-Ok, so HERE IS A CONTEST FOR ALL READERS: Reommend to Mandy a sci-fi movie she has never seen that she ends up liking and you will get a pair of signed, worn panties, or a photo if you prefer. So list off the ones you've already seen....

Ok--
All the Star Wars movies
All the Aliens
All the Star Trek
Thx-1138
Blade Runner
Flash Gordon
5th Element
All the Matrixes
Both Pitch Blacks
Akira
Urotsukidoji
Angel Blade
All the Terminators
All the Mad Maxes
Cube
Plan 9 From Outer Space
Barbarella
12 Monkeys
Alphaville
ummm--can't think of any more off the top of my head--but anyway, send in good movies and if I like yours best, you can have my panties. Bye.

Contest ends Friday April 4th. I won't be taking any movie suggestions after that.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Mandy Morbid Has Some Fun With Kimberly Kane's Pretty Butthole.

-So I hear your first feature just came out...

Yes. It did. It's called "Young Hollywood" and it's directed by Carlos Batts.

-So what do you do in it?

I flash Danzig. And get finger banged on one of his cars by a little Asian girl. And I also fuck her with a strap-on.

-So if I, theoretically, thought that sounded like some things I wanted to watch--how would I get this "Young Hollywood"?

My link to the avn store!

-What are you talking about?

Ugh....go to www.mandymorid.com and to the left of the video play window there is a click-thru ad to the AVN store, where you can buy dvds and toys. When you buy dvds or toys or whatever from the ad at www.mandymorbid.com, www.mandymorbid.com makes some money and can continue to provide you with free clips.

-Ok, got that out of the way...what else have you been up to?

I made some porn today. You'll see it next week. Kimberly Kane was the camera-girl. Uh, I went to the art museum a day or two ago. I also went to the release party for Young Hollywood. That's what I've been up to.

-Which museum?

The Los Angeles County Museum of Art. Kimberly came along that day as well.

-How was it?

I don't like most art.I think I do. I always hope it will be better than it is and I am often disappointed. They put all the wrong stuff in those places.

-That's too bad. Have you been getting many requests for different kinds of movies from people?

Yeah, people want to see more boy-girl scenes, more anal, more things like spanking and choking.

-So is that happening?

Yes. But I don't put up stuff until it's edited and I'm happy with it.

-So if people have more complicated requests or ideas, should they say something?

Yes. They should, they should comment here, or email me at mandy@mandymorbid.com or myspace me. I'm not hard to find on there.

-You're so democratic.

Maybe.

-So what do you think of the universe this week?

What kind of questions is that? Who cares what I thought of the universe this week. Or ever?

-I don't know--you have nice boobs, so we want to hear you talk.

I thought it went the other way around, I have nice boobs so you want to look at my boobs.

-What did you say? I was distracted...

Exactly. Fuck off now, I'm done blogging.

-No, wait, I remembered my point. You have nice boobs so we want to hear you talk so that we can then decide you're not very interesting so then we can feel superior to you instead of just feeling miserable about not being able to fondle your boobs. Or at least I heard something like that somewhere on an AdultDVDtalk messageboard or something.

You actually read on one of those message boards that that's the logic applied to porn chicks? Or "whores" as they get called on the xxxporntalk boards.

-Ummm...not so much read it as, "gleaned" it... I guess. Those guys are seriously angry. They're always baiting each other and the girls. They're geniuses at it. They're master-baiters.

Oh I was hoping it was one of 'em showing primitive signs of self awareness. Ugh. I understand there's a similarity between prostitution and being a paid adult performer. But that kind of misogynistic (or catty, if it's a female) name calling says far more about the posters than the girls...Oh well. I like what one of 'em said a lot. "But girls with a look like that aren't out to please everyone, so if she's comfortable in her own skin, then kudos to her." Precisely. I'm out to please myself.

-So who are you fucking next week?

Zak Sabbath. He's fun.

-Is it just his cock again, or are you gonna fuck all of him?

All of him. Well it depends on what I decide to edit. You may just get cock next week and all of him the week after that. Or whatever.

-Ok.

So, we good now? Can I be done now please?

-It's your blog. Do what you want.

Indeed. 'Till next week.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Mandy Morbid and Sasha Grey Again. (And I Spit on Her Nipple)

-So what made you spit on Sasha Gray's nipple?

I do not know and I don't really care. I just did it. She seemed to like it.

-So do you just go around spitting on everybody's nipples?

Only if the nipples are asking for it. You have to understand the nipple's language though.

-You speak the tongue of nipples?

A little,I'm not entirely fluent, I'm still learning.

-One of those things where you wear the headphones and repeat the phrases?

Ou est la plume de ma tante?

-La plume de ma tante est sur la langouste de ma tante. But anyway, enough of that...what've you been up to this week?

Ugh....parties, suicide girls...posing for pictures, arranging "meetings" with girls who do porn. There are some pictures up at avn.com of the party for Little Runaway 2 that I went to, cause my friend Daisy Tanks is in it. Go see! My tits hold beer--no hands!

-So how's that Daisy Tanks movie?

Well I tried to only pay attention to her scene. She's awesome, so cute. Cute in italics. Seriously.

-So when is there gonna be a scene with you and Daisy Tanks up on here?

I don't know when. When the stars align in such a way that a scene with Daisy and me being filmed is possible.

-What is she, fucking Cthulu?

Hmm...I kind of hope so. But I doubt it.

-You hope she is a sleeping star-demon bent on the annihilation of man?

Yup, that's the one. She looks all cute and innocent, I bet that would surprise some people.

-I wouldn't exactly say Daisy Tanks looks "innocent"...

Well then you're looking at her hair and not her face.

-In her face I see, at the very least, someone who spends an awful lot of time in traffic court...

She still manages to look innocent, or hapless at least, even under all the crazy make-up and snarling.

-So what did you eat today?

A strawberry milkshake and Udon and some tempura squash or something orange and soft, and some boba milk tea.Oh, and a bagel in the morning. Why?

-Well some people are interested to know what the contemporary DIY porn chick's diet consists of...

Oh I see. It is totally inconsistent. And now I have a stomach ache. Probably because it's so inconsistent. Or Japanese after a milkshake is just a bad idea in general and now I've learned my lesson.

-Anything else you need us to know this week?

Hmmm.....I'm getting lots of questions about how there are only a few videos up in the "videos we did before section". Yeah--there's only a few of my favorites up now. The new vids won't automatically end up saved there. So you have to come back every week to see what's up, or you might miss something hot and have to wait awhile before you'll ever get to see it again. Because I'm saving up this stuff for something fun.

-You slut.

Indeed, I guess. I'm sleepy, I'm done with this blog thing. G'night.

Monday, March 3, 2008

More Mandy and Kimberly Kane

-So where have you been?


I've been visiting my family and friends. In a cold cold place.

-Did you throw snowballs at them?

Nope! But I did make snow angels and roll down hills and jump off six foot high snowbanks into other large snowbanks with my little sister. Then I got cold and went inside and made hot cocoa. Then I sniffled for a few days.

-Did you do anything porn-y?

Ummm.....No. I got a new tattoo and a new piercing. But nothing porn-y. It's not a porn-y place. It's probably one of the least porn-y places in the world. Although from what I hear from my Dad and sister the strip-clubs are good. The girls get naked AND they serve alcohol....I am glad to be back in California.

-Do your dad and sister go to strip clubs together?

No, they don't.

-What are you listening to right now?

Tom Petty. "Love is a long long road."

-So you like Tom Petty, I hear he won't back down, is that true?

I like lots of different kinds of things. I've never met Tom Petty and so I haven't been able to ask him how true the song is.

-Ok, if you started a snowball fight with Tom Petty and he backed down would you be disappointed and stop listening to his music?

First of all, I'm not a snowball fighting kind of girl. Unless it leads to sex in the snow, cause I'm all for sex in the snow. But probably not with Tom Petty, he is a little old for me I think....Anyhow---IF I did start a snowball fight with Tom Petty I hope he would back down because that means I win the snowball fight. And I would still listen to his music once in awhile.

-But less often?

No, I only listen to it "once in awhile" presently. Hence the word "still" being in that sentence.

-Do you have any message to communicate to Tom Petty if he is reading and/or masturbating to you right now?


Not really. Have fun. Thanks for making some songs I like.

-What would you say if he or his record company gave you permission to score one of your scenes to "Free Falling"?

I'd be flattered, but I don't think I'm the right girl for that scene.

-Doesn't the girl in that song love horses and she's crazy about Elvis?

Yeah...Not me. She also "Loves Jesus and America too" I'm not so much into Jesus and America at the moment.

-But America loves you! And Jesus is probably jerking off to you and Ming the Merciless right now...

America can love me all it wants, until it does something about all the war, corruption, pollution, and crappy health care and education I'm keeping my distance...sort of. Jesus jerking off to me is a hot idea. Damn Catholic school.

-Have you ever heard the one about the bus driver and the hippie?

YES! I have.

-You mean you've heard the one where There was a hippie and he was taking the bus. And as he got on the bus he saw this hot nun and like hit on her and she just left and got off the bus. And then the next day he got on the bus again and asked the bus driver how he would get the Nun to have sex with him, and the driver replied "Well every sunday night she goes to the church and prays and what you have to do is go and wear day glo paint and a loincloth and come down and be all "I am Jesus, suck my godcock!"

So that night the hippie dressed up as God. And he came to the Nun and then bent her over and the Hippie had a great time. After they were finished he took off the day-glo paint and said "HA, HA I'M THE HIPPY!" then the nun took off her habit and said "HA HA I'M THE BUS DRIVER!"

-Is that the one you heard?

Ugh, yeah, that's the one. Freak.

-Well do you wish you were the nun?

No. Not at all. That nun is stupid. And Hippies are gross.

-But what if they're naked, they're like Jesus, right?

Nope, not all, Jesus is only hot when he's skinny, bloody and tied/nailed to a cross.

-So like an S and M hippie is hot?

I dunno, the giant crucifix in the church I was sent to didn't resemble a hippie.

-Really? I have never seen a Jesus that didn't look like either a hippie or a Mexican hippie...

Where have you seen a Mexican hippie?!

-I don't know--union picket lines? I feel like there are a lot of murals with Jesus looking like a Mexican hippie--am I wrong?

I guess you're right, there weren't a lot of hippies or murals around where I grew up. Just lots of crucifixes and snow. Now that I've made the hippie-Jesus connection, Jesus shouldn't ever be hot anymore. Thanks.

-So what exactly did Jesus look like in the land of the Snow People?

Like a hippie who kept his beard and body hair trimmed better than most hippies I've seen in real life, who's been beat up badly. Which is satisfying. But not hot. Though he did have nice hip bones.

-So--what's this week's pornography about?

It's with Kimberly Kane.

-Well that's always amusing...

Yup yup!

-Well I suppose if we keep you on here too much longer babbling about theological niceties you won't have time to fuck more hot sluts, so we'll let you go...

Right...time to email some sluts.