-So, I hear you starred in a feature for Vivid Alt this week...
Yup. Benny Profane's new movie.
-What's it called?
I think it's supposed to be called "Hospital".
-So what's it about? A post office?
Yeah a fucked up post office. With nurses and mind reading devices. And naked people.
-How were the donuts at the craft-service table?
They were very tasty.
-I assume you'll tell us more about it when it actually comes out--what did you do last night?
Yeah, more information will be made available when it's more relevant, like when you can actually see it. Last night I went to a photography show opening at a tiny little gallery in Echo Park called Hamburger Eyes with Kimberly Kane, her friend who's work was in the show, Zak Sabbath and we ran into Eon McKai there too. The show was great.
Then we had diner and Zak and I went to see the Tomorrow Show. Which is a comedy show put on every Saturday by the the guys who did Home Movies (one of the funniest cartoons ever) and Metallocalypse. I accidentally heckled the last act too, which makes me feel a little bad. Oh well.
-Is making porn like that cartoon "Home Movies"?
It is sometimes, definitely.
-What kind of photos is "Hamburger Eyes"?
They were black and white and gritty, kind of like Daido Moriyama's stuff. (Kind of.)
-How come you know about so much stuff? Why aren't you dumber?
I'm just unlucky that way I suppose. Although I do have some pretty awesome friends I might not have if I were dumber.
-Like that monster?
Yeah, like the monster....
-Ok--let's say I was walking around and saw you on the street and I had done all this masturbating to your butt--should I just ignore you and then tell all my friends I saw you and you had a plastic bag with bread in it or should I say Hi?
You should come say hi, unless you're a creep who will try to molest me or something. But if all you want to do is say hi or something equally innocent then yeah, you're welcome to.
-So if I go "Ummm...hey, are you Mandy Morbid?" you won't hit me with your purse?
No. I might get a bit shy and wary of what you'll do or say next but I won't hit you with my purse or scream and run away.
-If I offer you some candy will you take it?
Nope. Oh, and have the good sense to not come talk to me if I'm with people who look like they could be parents or aunts and uncles. Like old people in normal clothes. Stay away from me then or I will hate you forever.
-Ah, good point. So, Chapel has big stripey socks--is that like an alt-porn thing, stripey socks?
Oh, yeah, stripy socks and alt-porn. That is a thing I guess.
-It seems like when they've got a sort of "normal" girl in alt-porn, they give her pigtails and legwarmers. Is that how you can tell the truly alt porn from the faux-alt? Stripey socks vs. legwarmers?
I don't know, I wear leg warmers even though I don't have enough hair for pigtails anymore. It doesn't matter. Stripy socks and leg warmers are cool and that's all.