Chapel+Mandy+Rabbit Vibe=Hot Pornography

-Old business first...

So, I was supposed to answer the New Avenger question from last week, right? My answer is, yes, sure. I do think the New Avengers is about "What It Means To Truly Be A Hero". There. See I thought about it.

-This week's movie?

This week's video is the super cute Chapel Waste and me. It's a real shame she lives so far away. :(

-What are you doing tonight?

Tonight I am going to Satine Phoenix's birthday party. I'm pretty excited about that, because Satine is lots of fun.

-Anything else?

On Tuesday I'm going to the release party for Kimberly Kane's new movie Morphine. Go check out Morphine because everything Kimberly Kane touches is ultra sexy and nasty and artistic.

-Now, a certain kid of reader is bound to be a little skeptical when a porn girl says something is "sexy and nasty and artistic"...

So what? They either go watch it or they don't. What the fuck do I care? Anyway I live with a verifiably successful contemporary artist and I make porn if you're going to listen to anyone who says something is artistic and nasty it may as well be me.

-Ok, what are you doing now?

Right now I've got some tasty Chinese food.

Also the Oscar the Grouch song "I Love Trash" is playing on youtube on Zak's computer and I now think that it's one of the best songs ever. I think it must be one of our theme songs. Old Sesame Street was doing a way better job teaching kids morals than most kid's t.v shows do today. And not just morals, vocabulary: "Wow Oscar, that was a great song about trash, a sanitation serenade!" 1969.....damn. And I used to work with special needs and medically fragile kids in schools and in foster homes so I had to watch my fair share of children's television. It's nearly utterly void of any practical, academic, or moral lessons you might actually want your children to learn.

"Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes, I love trash

I have here a sneaker that's tattered and worn
It's all full of holes and the laces are torn
A gift from my mother the day I was born
I love it because it's trash

Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes, I love trash

I have here some newspaper thirteen months old
I wrapped fish inside it; it's smelly and cold
But I wouldn't trade it for a big pot o' gold!
I love it because it's trash

Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes, I love trash

I've a clock that won't work
And an old telephone
A broken umbrella, a rusty trombone
And I am delighted to call them my own!
I love them because they're trash

Oh, I love trash!
Anything dirty or dingy or dusty
Anything ragged or rotten or rusty
Yes, I love, I love, I love trash!"

Wouldn't trade it for a big pot of gold...you see because it has other, more important values. Get it?? Kids used to get it. Do you?

Ah whatever, I've been reading too much of this book. "Between Existentialism and Marxism" by J.P Sartre. It makes me feel better. It has since I was 16. That's why I have a Sartre quote tattooed on the back my neck.


-"Suffering is justified as soon as it becomes the raw material of beauty". While that may be true of, say, tattoo-suffering, would you say that is really true of all suffering?

I think it's true when it comes to me, and all the kinds of suffering I've endured. I very often am very seriously ill, and I have issues with chronic pain. Which yeah, sure it sucks a lot, but over all I feel as though me having to experience that my whole life has had only positive results. I am constantly reminded how very mortal I am and that puts one in a position to really asses one's situation and values accurately. This quote isn't just about physical beauty, like tattoos. It may not be true for everyone. It may not be true in respect to say, victims of war or natural disasters.

-Ok. Hey--I've heard you smell good, not bad--are you worried Oscar the Grouch wouldn't like you?

Nah, not really. My house is full if stuff he would love. Plus I look pretty trashy so I think he would like me.


-Why do you think you look trashy?

I have a messy mohawk and tattoos. I don't wear nice clothes. I mean I almost never buy any new clothes. I still own clothes I got at the Salvation Army when I was 17. My nail polish is often chipped and I hate trimming my nails so they're always too long and kind of gross. (I mean I like 'em....I've never had a manicure in my life.) I'm pale because I don't spend much time outside in the sun, which makes me look unhealthy to some. Who've said so. Uh...what else? Isn't that trashy?


-Well I feel like the word's confusing, I mean, "trashy" implies some moral failure doesn't it? A girl can wear expensive clothes and still seem very "trashy". I mean, everyone knows Paris Hilton is trashy.

Yeah, but she doesn't LOOK trashy in the most commonly used sense. I think gold looks awful and tacky and so "trashy" to me. But most people wouldn't agree with me. I look trashy to some people even though my personality may not be, while Paris Hilton might look posh, while her personality may be totally trashy. It's really a question of people's tastes and perceptions.


-Oh but that's so vague. I think "trashy" means something about you suggests you don't care about important and elevated things. Like celebrities are "trashy" when they get drunk and fuck random strangers instead of give their money to breast cancer research and normal people are "trashy" when they talk about celebrities all day.

Well yeah that's true, but also it's a word that's often used to describe style in a visual sense. There's more than one kind of "trashy". The model's in Bob Coulter's photos often look totally trashy but it's absolutely beautiful. Or photos of super urban areas, with actual trash and graffiti everywhere, some of those photos are amazing. Images that obviously imply a lack of care about certain things (like Bob's models who's sexual values might seem questionable to some) that lots of people think are important and elevated. So is that still "trashy"? You'd have to have a definitive explanation of what "important and elevated things" are.


-I think Bob's photos are trashy--in a good way. They're not trash. I think "trashy" has to do not only with being rich or poor, but with having or not having the set of values that rich people use to justify being rich. Like Princess Di was "classy" and "sophisticated" which allegedly meant it was ok that she was rich--whereas Paris Hilton is "trashy" and so people aren't ok with her being rich and they hate her and if she died in a car crash most people would be happy. Bob's photos don't show any interest in the aesthetics rich people use to elevate themselves above poor people--his photos are not "clean" or "elegant" or "subtle"--so they're trashy.

Yeah I guess I always thought "trashy" was more about an implied sense of cheapness/ignorance of morals AND/OR aesthetics. Having a set of values you make public in some way simply to justify being rich, or to alleviate the guilt associated with being rich is kind of trashy too.


-Or "stupid" at least. What color are your socks?

They are green and have stripes. What colour are yours?


-I'm not wearing socks. Anyway, did you see "Iron Man"?

I did. With Satine. It was great! Better than all the other comic book movies they've tried to make. They didn't actually ruin this one, I'm not even a huge Iron Man fan, but I love it. I hope they manage to continue not-ruining comic book movies.


-Is Tony Stark trashy?

He had some trashy and superficial moments for sure. But he did do the whole hero-mind-set-turn-around thing so it's hard to judge him now. Should have asked me this question before he turned into Iron Man.


-I liked him better before he fell in love with his loser secretary.

Well, yeah. But that could have been so much worse than it was. The movie would have been even better without Pepper Potts. When will they learn the leave out the unrealistic and childish romantic sub-plots in these films?


-They will not learn it.

Then most movies will suck forever and ever.