Monster Generators, Pornographic Suicide and Quiz Kid Dana

-So how're you doing today, Mandy Morbid?

I'm very sick. I caught Zak's horrible cold. Otherwise, as far as I can tell things are good.

-So I notice your site has been having some identity issues lately...

Yeah, it's not my fault.

-I don't care whose fault it is, what I want to know is, is there still new porn on this site every saturday or what?

There's supposed to be but it doesn't always work. There's new porn this week, but there wasn't last week, but there was the week before. I think I've figured out how to keep it working now though. Every week. (Fingers crossed.)

-What kind of operation are you running over there, Missy?

A very very DIY one. Deal with it. I've had a real rough couple of months up until March and now I'm ill again...

-Like ill like normal "get well soon, Mandy" ill or like some epic obstacle-to-me-getting-to-see-you-with-jizz-on-you ill?

It's always epic with me. It can take me weeks to heal from the common cold if my asthma kicks in, which it almost always does, AND it's allergy season. In the past 3 weeks I've been on two rounds of antibiotics...And this is all actually an improvement, since now the endometriosis is less painful since my surgery in January and my asthma is getting better from going to the gym regularly with Kimberly.

-Do you guys go to a magical porno gym where everybody s sweaty and naked and it's like in a Madonna video?

We wish! (And oh, I have enough new stuff edited to keep the site uploading while I take my week or two to recover from this current plague-cold-round-of-infections. So don't worry too much about not having new Mandy porn.)

-So the upshot is: "Yes, new porn every Saturday"?

That is my goal. Oh, hey, check this out! http://fleshbot.com/5210338/kane-does-morbid
Kimberly Kane shot me for her Super 8 film "My Pornographic Suicide", photo by Agata Alexander.

-Fine, I did. Now you check this out:
http://lovesetfire.com/ang_generator.html
It's a random DC comics porn movie generator. I got: Starfire and/or any other member of the Teen Titans have sex due to impending death. Then I got:Conor Hawke and Dinah Lance are both in love with the same person...


I got Raven and Bruce Wayne under the influence of sex pollen and then I got Lex Luthor and Poison Ivy are assumed to be sleeping together (but aren't yet.)

-Do you use a random generator to make your movies? "An alt-porn girl with pink hair has sex with a girl with a big butt and red-striped socks in a grey bed with blue sheets and the camera is wobbly."?

Pretty much. Unless someone asks for something specific they'd like to see or KK is around. (And yes, yes I know you all what to see more tentacle sex, I'm working on it.)

-I want to see...
"An 8-legged tentacle monster with a purplish-yellow beak and four toes fuck Mandy and Kimberly and Satine Phoenix with a candlestick in the drawing room"

Ok. But why with a candlestick when there is tentacles? You know what's really irritating when you have a cold? Nose piercings. So so annoying....

Wanna know what I did last week?

-Yes, but first I want to use this Ronnie James Dio advice generator at teiresias.net, it says: "Mandy, In the palace of the virgin, lies the chalice of the soul, and it's likely you might find the answer there." Ok, I'm going to go look in that palace, meanwhile tell everybody what you did last week...

Actually I don't know if this was last week or the week before...but on some Tuesday recently I modeled for Sawa Suicide when she shot some photos for the band Goatwhore. She tied me to a pillar and covered me in fake blood. Then, she, Zak and I all went to see Brutal Truth play at the Knitting Factory. I got an awesome shirt with a Minotaur on it. Then Thursday Zak, Kimberly, Agata, Steve Diet Goedde and I went to the art walk downtown and saw some art and April Flores was modeling in some gallery, then we ran into Dana DeArmond and went so some bar and then I got tired and went home. On Saturday Kimberly shot me for her Super 8 film and then I watched Justice League Unlimited cartoons all day. Oh and I've been doing a bunch of dumb quizzes on facebook, like did you know if I were to be a Marvel superhero or bad guy I'd be Thanos? Oh, and going to the gym.

-A: Do you think Dana DeArmond is the Quiz Kid Donnie Smith of porn, now that she has braces?, and B: You'd be Thanos? Seriously?

A: Yes. Mainly just cause it's fun to say "Quiz Kid Dana"
B: Seriously according to that quiz. Also, in the X-Men I'd be Psylocke, the "Which Crazy Bitch Are You?" quiz thinks I'm Mallory Knox from Natural Born Killers, and the Sorting Hat from Harry Potter quiz put me in Ravenclaw (which is exactly where I'd want to be), and my "True Age" is 16. Also I'm "great in bed." Oh, and I'll die by being stabbed.

-Psylocke, Thanos, and Mallory Knox, huh? Did the quizzes go like: "Your favorite color is: 'I hate everyone.' My favorite subject in school is: 'I despise the human race.'...

Kinda, yeah.


-Well, I used this giant japanese monster generator at Seventh Sanctum.com and got: "The gigantic slimy gorilla. It used to live on the moon. It is a friend to all children." So...

Well that's great! Living on the moon sounds like fun and being a friend to all children is very admirable. Lets see what I get...Ahhha! "The gigantic ant that vomits acid on enemies. It was created by a lost civilization. It protects its mysterious life source."

-As Foucault would say, all systems of rules are merely a camouflage for systems of ideology. It would appear that, according to this monster-generator, it is impossible to generate a monster that is both a friend to all children and that ALSO protects its mysterious life source...

Perhaps...On that note, I'm going to try to rest now. Enjoy this week's POV.