Melvins, Barney, Etrigan, Golf

-What have you been up to Mandy?

* Gym with Kimberly Kane as usual, went to the driving range with her and Zak and Stoya, watching Justice League cartoons, reading a book about the Met, watching Zak draw...stuff like that.

-You played golf with Stoya?

*Zak, and KK played with Stoya, I pretty much gave up "playing" awhile back because I suck. At most things athletic unless they involve a horse or ice skates or a pool. Or cock. But going to the driving range isn't really playing golf is it? It's just whacking at golf balls. Anyway I mostly watch or keep score if KK and Zak are having a competition. Stoya was almost as bad as I am though. She gave up too.

- Was anybody else at this driving range?

*Oh yeah, we saw Buzz from the Melvins!
(And Satine had a birthday party too, I forgot to mention above. She had like three, but we only went to one of 'em. And we hung out with Daniel/Danny Wylde too--watching him and Zak both sit on my bed and play Star Wars: Battlefront II was awfully exciting, in the hot way. AND I got to see KK "die" in a really awesome looking horror movie that Tommy Pistol was making. Did I remember it all now? Oh. Right. Lots of doctors appointments too.)

- Jesus fuck you're busy...

*I guess so. Yeah.

-What do you think of the Melvins' cover of that Alice Cooper song "Ballad of Dwight Frye"?

*I like it! A lot. It's a great cover. But I like the version I saw Alice perform live better of course.

-So was Buzz all "Holy shit! It's Stoya!"!

*Nah, he didn't get up there until after we were down in the parking lot, loitering while the girls smoked, and Zak noticed him and went back up to see if it was really him--but didn't talk to him or take a picture or anything. Just confirmed it was who he thought it was. I couldn't see very well. My contacts never seem to work as well as I'd like them to.


-Was Stoya all "Holy shit! It's Buzz Osbourne!"?

*I don't remember.

-I guess Buzz is one of those rock stars that NOT all the porn chicks have already slept with...

*You might be right.

-What are you eating?

*Pepperidge Farm Goldfish crackers. And soon a pill to help me sleep that my doctor put me on when he decided I have Fibromyalgia.

-Are you eating the ones that have the fish with their names on them: "Brooke", "Gilbert", "Finn", and "Xtreme"?

*On the back of the package, yeah, not on the fish crackers.

-Which Fish is the best?

*I always get the one's with Finn. Because they're tasty.

-It says on the bag he's president of "share smiles" foundation. Does that figure into your decision?

*Nope.

-Which episode of Justice League are you watching?

* The one with the Huge Heffner guy having the Halloween party and Morgan (Morganna?) Le Fey and her annoying kid, Mordred. And Etrigan.

-OH MY GOD THE ONE WITH ETRIGAN? THAT ONE IS SO FUCKING AWESOME AND YOU ARE AWESOME FOR WATCHING IT!

*The one with baby Etrigan is pretty cool too.

-I love how he's all creepy and has black lips. That shit'll give children nightmares for decades.

*I dunno. I saw The Exorcist when I was, like, 8. That'll give kids nightmares. Especially Catholic kids. Or Unsolved Mysteries, that scared me. Maybe Etrigan would've too though.

-The fact that there's a "Share Smiles" Foundation and its president's a fish with sunglasses gives me nightmares.

*Yeah....that's pretty scary. I always thought Barney was awfully scary, he came out when my lil brother was a toddler. Ick! He said all kinds of nonsense about "smiles" and crap like that too.

-It would be totally fucked if Barney had black lips and Etrigan was always demanding that people smile...

* Now I'm just gonna picture all the unrealistically cheery kid's characters I can with black lips...

-Is Coco's butt as squeezable and juicy as it looks in movies?

* Pretty much, yup.

- 'sigh'

* Indeed.