Tuesday, December 2, 2008

From my Suicide Girl Journal

Copy and pasted from my Suicide Girl journal.

Okay, about my fan mail from the other day. This one:

[B] From B..... to me

Hello,i em big fan of you and you body,and i want to ofer you 50.000$ in
cash to sex with you.I em european bizznismen(milionare) and i em
in Miami Beach FL,so if you interested i send you mine pics to see
me.Please this is not joke or something i em real and money is not
problem.My name is B.... and i have 29 years,please answer me.[/B]

While I am convinced that this was sent to me by an obnoxious asshole trying to insult or provoke me, Zak reminded me that it [I]could[/I] actually be a real person, making a real request (however fucked up, misguided, or asshole-ish it may be).

While I would like to provide those of you who asked with the entertainment a conversation with this person could generate....

I wasn't going to send any response anyhow--not my style really, but I certainly can't bring myself to fuck with a possible "someone" who's reasons for proposing to pay me just to fuck him may be pitiable and not laughable.

The obnoxious asshole however confused he may be is laughable, but how can you tell?

If I were to reply ever to something like this though, my response would be something along the lines of:

I have a t-shirt, male size large, with me on it, topless. Will that do instead of sex? I'll sign it if you like.
Only $10, 000 and ......

Then a long list of insane items and conditions.

Last night Zak helped me create my first ever D&D character. (Zak's the dungeon master, obviously)
And yes, we are going to play with a luscious porn star/fetish model and her drummer boyfriend. I am pretty excited. And nervous. We will play when we get back from the east coast. Next week. (Supposed to leave tomorrow morning, early.)
I have never played before. But I have played lots of video games and they seem to have been based on D&D.

I haven't slept in a very long time and I may end up being too sick to get on a plane. And thinking also possibly too ill to be left alone. But we have plane tickets and hotel reservations and family obligations and Miami....

I miss a bunch of girls who live far away. I even miss girls who live nearby.

And somehow I am looking forward to holidays in Canada. I have this notion that this year will be sparkly-er and glittery-er and warmer and better smelling than holidays have been in a long time. I am hoping it's a sign that things are going well for me (aside from my body/health slowly but steadily deteriorating a little bit more every day). I want to smell ice and winter and nothing alive outside and feel invigorated and then go inside somewhere glittery and warm and be sleepy and safe.

Or that's all a sign that I've been really sick for a long long time and am desperate for some extravagant and actually non existent form of comfort.

Like a cure, or even just a cause. I could work with a cause.

P.S: I got to dance one night with Starla and have been sick in bed almost constantly since.

P.P.S: I still have prints for sale and also signed calenders. Suicide Girl Zoli, Joanna Angel, Justine Joli (I <3 Justine), and Darenzia are all in this calender too. Skip back a few posts and there's a link about it. It's the one where I'm Tank Girl.

Also, a note: I really truly admire Kimberly Kane. I think she is a genius when it comes to smut. Check out her Bad Advice blog to see one of the most beautiful, stylish, artistic and sexiest trailers for a porno movie ever made. I think it has real sex appeal, not like porno sex appeal, true human sex appeal. I can't wait to see it.


Trazom said...

Hi Mandy.

I've just found your blog and it's real nice. Not only the erotic side of it but the personnal one too. You have real interests, sense of humour and combine reality (whatever it is) with fantasy. Reading you is real stimulating for the mind in a world full of empty-head bloggers.

I see you're sick at the moment and it seems it's not something that just goes away like a cold. It truly moved me when you said you wanted a cure or just a cause. I live your same situation though it's a different illness. I understand the feeling of seeing oneself losing 'light' like a candle knowing there's no going back. I've lived with it since I was 3, for 29 years. I won't say rise and shine or other cheap and useless topic people does cause they don't imagine what we feel.

What I can tell you is that you're fighting, enduring it and these lost battles are not for everyone but you keep going. No matter who wins, no matter if you fall... you can and must do like now, always stand up again. Oh and hope is not easy to have or keep but if you love or are loved you have a great thing, cause love, understanding and fun make up for an excellent substitute.

Maybe this isn't what you wanted to read, or you simply don't agree but all I wanted to do was show you my sincere appreciation.

Get better, have fun and dont't forget to bring some acid or fire in case you find trolls in your D&D adventure.

Anonymous said...

1. Exciting, are you playing the new DnD system? It's vastly easier for new players, and can be a lot of fun, it's all about who you play with. I've been rocking it since second edition and fully approve.

2. Miami is really fun in small doses. Like a lot of things, really. Do: hit South Beach, eat some Cuban food, go to a club, maybe check out Coconut Grove, that's kind of a neat place. Don't expect courtesy or any kind of rationality from other drivers. Speaking Spanish helps.

3. Love your blog! Sorry Killing Joke sucked, the Cthulhu thing you did a while back was genius, and have you heard Abney Park, the "steampunk" band? I can't decide if I love them or hate them.



Adamantyr said...

Hi, long-time fan since you first were on SG. Sorry to hear some fans can be so, well... rude doesn't even describe it.

I think you're absolutely gorgeous, and I look forward to seeing you in more movies and films. More picture sets are great too, on SG or Stagg Street.

Very cool to hear that you're trying out D&D... being the uber-gaming geek that I am, I wondered what edition of the game Zak is running? I hope you have fun playing it!

Eric said...

I hope Zak's running 4.0 instead of 3.5. 3.5 can be stupidly complicated for new players.

Ben said...

Hey, I hope you feel better soon.

Just discovered your site, but I have to say, I have a lot of respect for you and Zack for doing what you're doing, how you're doing it. As in, not selling out to the industry, and doing things your way. You have a terrific head on your shoulders and a fantastic body, and it's really refreshing to see somebody do what you do because they love it, and do it under their own terms.

Anyways, good luck with the D&D, and I hope you feel better, soon! No pressure on the videos--it's your life and a free website, so anyone complaining can basically fall off a cliff.